


Crimson Fate

by zeon_avalanthe



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Inspired by Tokyo Ghoul, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-15 07:16:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10552284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeon_avalanthe/pseuds/zeon_avalanthe
Summary: I have always wondered, why does this world have never been fair to the likes of us ? Was it so wrong to be born like this ? Do we have to be blamed for the fate we can't choose ? If so, then why did God created us ? Is there a purpose yet to be known for our existence ? Is there a meaning at all for us to continue living in this world where we could only suffer ?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Age guide :  
> Yabu Kota : 35 years old  
> Takaki Yuya : 30 years old  
> Inoo Kei : 29 years old  
> Yaotome Hikaru : 34 years old  
> Arioka Daiki : 18 years old  
> Okamoto Keito : 20 years old  
> Yamada Ryosuke : 17 years old  
> Nakajima Yuto : 18 years old  
> Chinen Yuri : 17 years old
> 
> Yamashita Tomohisa : 23 years old  
> Akanishi Jin : 33 years old  
> Nakajima parents : 51 years old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Age Guide :  
> Yabu Kota : 35 years old  
> Takaki Yuya : 30 years old  
> Inoo Kei : 29 years old  
> Yaotome Hikaru : 34 years old  
> Arioka Daiki : 18 years old  
> Okamoto Keito : 20 years old  
> Yamada Ryosuke : 17 years old  
> Nakajima Yuto : 18 years old  
> Chinen Yuri : 17 years old
> 
> Yamashita Tomohisa : 23 years old  
> Akanishi Jin : 33 years old  
> Nakajima parents : 51 years old

I have always wondered, why does this world have never been fair to the likes of us ? Was it so wrong to be born like this ? Do we have to be blamed for the fate we can't choose ? If so, then why did God created us ? Is there a purpose yet to be known for our existence ? Is there a meaning at all for us to continue living in this world where we could only suffer ?

***

"Good morning, Ryo-chan ! Let's work hard today as well !"

I turned my head at the source of voice with a passive look. There he goes again. Being all smiley and happy while humming some melody as he cleans the table. It'd been a week, and he just simply started working here as if that's the most natural thing in the world.

I sighed as I took my place behind the counter. There's no helping it. The owner has told us that he will be a part of us and not to ask questions about it. I tried to ask, but the manager still won't said a thing. I'm not usually one to pry on someone's nose, but for an unknown reason, I feel a strange curiousity to this new guy. It's as if, there is a link which connected us.

***

"Why do I have to share my room with him ?" I looked up at the owner, visually annoyed at the sudden decision.

"I'm sorry, Ryosuke-kun, but the room he occupied was damaged, and since we have no other spare room, and you two are about the same age, I think you could share." The middle-aged man said with an apologetic smile.

"What's with that face ? I bet we can have lots of fun together ! And don't you think that it's lonelier to sleep alone in such a huge room ?" The said man chirped, a wide smile covering his face.

Huge my ass ! I thought to myself. While the room is by no means small, it could only suffice one person, unless people are willing to sleep side by side. And I'm the kind of person who respect my privacy, thank you very much.

"Please, Ryosuke-kun. If you would just spend a few nights with Yuto-kun until his room is repaired, it will be very helpful."

I sighed. Despite everything, I still owed the manager a great deal. Thinking about it, I was partly at fault for what had happened to his room. So, surely sharing a room for a night or two won't be too big of a problem.

"I understand. I'll share the room, Yabu-san."

***

"Hey, can I ask you something ?"

The other man turned back, and make a questioning look at me.

"What is it, Ryo-chan ?"

I felt a vein in my head popped. Does he really intended to call me that for the rest of his life ?

"Where did you come from ? And what brought you here ?"

"Oh, so you're interested in me ? That's cute !" The man laughed instead.

"Hey !" I almost yelled at him. Almost.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He gradually stopped laughing before he fixated his eyes on me. "I came from afar. And the reason why I came here, was because of you."

I widened my eyes in surprise. Was he joking ? Or was he telling the truth ? If he was telling the truth, then was that mean we have some kind of a relation in the past ? But what was it ? What was the thing which connected the two of us ?

"Wha- ?"

"Just kidding." The man suddenly broke off with yet another set of giggles, and I felt my patience left me.

"NA-KA-JI-MA !!"

***

It was stupid of me to think that there's a thread connecting us two after all. And after that day, I stopped trying to figure it out altogether, pushing myself to believe that it was plain curiousity which brought me to think like that about that guy.

Come to think about it, it was natural for me to think so actually. That person called Nakajima Yuto just appeared in front of us a little before a week ago, looking all lost and empty. Even as Yabu-san introduced the guy, he barely said nothing. But then, just as suddenly as his appearance, his behaviour took a a sudden 180 degree change. The moment he stepped into the cafe the next morning, he was smiling and greeted everyone in an overly-cheerful manner. We were taken aback for sure, but when most of the other crew accepted his change easily, I was not. I thought that there was something behind it, that he somehow reminded me of my past, and thus brought me into that suspection.

But then again, perhaps it was just me and there's nothing between us after all. Maybe he experienced something bad the day he came here -that's why he looked so lifeless- but soon after, get over it and returned to his previous endemeanor. Maybe his friends or families were hunted by the doves, it's nothing new after all. Of how the doves had hunted and killed lots of our kins, without regard of their behaviour nor asked of their sins.

I shook my head to pushed the thought away. I have abandoned that memory and decided to start anew. That's why I joined Yabu-san and worked here. I can't let my past dragged me back. One of more reasons why I should stop bugging that Nakajima, just in case he really was someone from my past.

"Are you done ? We're about to go in ten minutes, so-"

I almost jumped in surprise at hearing someone spoke behind me, then turned around to find Yuya-san looking at me with a somehow amused look.

"Don't laugh." I snorted at him, even when he's not moving a muscle.

"I'm not." He defended himself.

"Yes, you are." I insist. "I know that look, Yuya-san. We've been with each other for such a long time, I have long since figured out the meaning behind those expressionless masks of yours."

The man said nothing back at me, a sign that I had won the battle.

"Wait me up. I'll go change in a minute." I told him as I left my post and out of his sight.

In about five minutes, I walked down the stairs and out to the back alley through the back door. As I zipped my overcoat up, I pulled the white mask from within my pocket to make sure that I haven't forgotten about it.

"Hey, Ryo-chan ! We've been waiting !"

I hold my urge to scowl and grumbled at the two guys instead.

On the other hand, Yuya-san seemed to ignore our exchange and lead us out to his car instead.

"Where are we going today ? Hiding in an alley and wait, or simply lure the prey out ?" Nakajima asked in a somehow excited tone which annoyed me more than I already was.

"None of those. We're going to the cliff." Yuya-san told him.

"Why ?" He asked again.

"You'll know soon enough." Said Yuya-san curtly, cutting the conversation short as he left no room for more question.

I felt Nakajima turning at me in an attempt to start a new conversation, but I leaned back on the seat and close my eyes, pretending to sleep. I'm sure that neither Yuya-san nor Nakajima believe that I'm actually sleeping, but I'm just glad that that guy decided to leave me alone and said nothing afterwards.

Not too long after we left, Yuya-san finally came to a stop. He parked the car in such a place that people wouldn't straightly notice if they passed by. He signed us both to follow him outside and to the edge of the cliff.

"Can you see down there ?" He said, more to Nakajima than to me. "This is a spot where most people fell and died, either it was because of an accident, or because they simply got tired of living. Either way, it's a favour for us."

"So your point is, that we're going to feast on these 'dead' people down there ?" Nakajima asked in wonder.

"Exactly." Yuya-san nodded.

"You mean, like, 'dead' people who were already dead even before we saw them ?" He asked again.

"Yes." Came yet another curt reply from Yuya-san.

"Are you say- ?"

"You know, Nakajima ? If you decided to join us, then you follow our rules. This is how we're going to feed ourselves, and our other friends who can't hunt by themselves. If it's something you can't accept, then you're free to leave." I cutted him, getting tired by the minute he spent wasting his breath.

"But those dead people might have been there for days ! Or even weeks ! They're not fresh anymore ! What if we accidently eat some rotten meat ?" He tried to argue.

"Well, we're taking them anyway. And leave the sorting part to the experts." I shrugged.

"But-"

"The thing is, Yuto," Yuya-san interrupted. "We don't go and kill people just because we need to eat. That's just not how we do it here."

Nakajima was silent while taking turns at looking both me and Yuya-san.

"Like Ryosuke had said before, if you cannot accept that rule, you may leave. But only if you're willing to keep silent about us. We don't want one loose end to ruin the web we've threaded for years after all." Yuya-san added while pulling out his gloves from inside his coat.

Nakajima said nothing, and this time, he looked thoughtful. After another minute of silence, he sighed before raising his head and throw me one last look. I looked away as our eyes meet, not wanting to see behind those dark pupils of his. It appears that he gave a silent agreement to Yuya-san because the next thing I know, is that Yuya-san gave the signal to jump.

I spent no time in doing so, pushing on my feet as I leaped to the air. Despite having done this for millions of time, I still feel that jumping and flying are really not my virtue. For some reasons, I always felt this uneasiness when my feet are not touching the ground. Dai-chan, one of our ally and also my bestfriend, often told me that it meant I'm having an acrophobia. Of course I thought that it was nonsense. There's no way that I'm having a fear of heights for God's sake.

If God exists that is.

Just when my mind started to wander, I was brought back to reality as I feel a solid ground once again on my feet. Right after me, Nakajima and Yuya-san stepped down as well. Without waiting for an instruction, I started to scan the area to collect the corpses.

"There are too many corpses today. Let's take the freshest ones." Yuya-san called out from behind me.

I nodded before reaching for the nearest corpse and picked it up. A man in his late twenties. Probably around a couple of hours old. Can't be more than a day.

"Hey, how do you differentiate the new corpse from the one which is a couple of days old ?" Nakajima came behind me and asked.

"The easiest way to tell is from their smell." I told him briefly as I put the corpse inside the plastic bag Yuya-san had prepared.

"Smell ?"

I nodded. "A rotten corpse produced a somewhat stronger odor."

"I see ?" Nakajima tilted his head to the side, clearly still confused by my vague explanation.

"Simply speaking," I sighed as I picked yet another corpse. "Even 'you' can tell whether the corpse is eatable or not." I looked at him looking at me in wonder. "Surely the fresh ones still somewhat smelled tasty, right ?"

"Oh, so that's it ! Thanks, Ryo-chan !" He beamed before disappearing from my sights.

I shook my head, throwing the corpse to the already building up mountain of bodies, thinking that it's enough as I take a seat by the side, waiting for Yuya-san and Nakajima to finish their part.

***

"Yama-chan, look !"

Just as I was told, I looked up at the excited face of my friend.

"What is it, Yuuri ?" I asked him gently.

"I tried to bake this cupcakes this morning, will you try it for me ?" He asked back, eyes gleaming with anticipation.

I smile at him, before looking at the fluffy cupcakes he offered. Chinen Yuuri is my classmate and also somewhat a bestfriend. He aimed to be a patissier someday and will bring along his creation every once in a while. People said that he's a gifted pastry chef and often complimented him for his confectionaries.

"Sure. Let me take this one." I told him as I pick the one in white frosting and colourful sprinkles with strawberry on top.

"Yama-chan sure loves strawberry, eh ?" He commented in which I just laugh.

It's not that I like strawberry in particular, it's just, from every human foods I have ever tasted, strawberry tasted less like puke. I give the treat one last look before forcing it down my throat.

As soon as it went down my digestion though, I feel like vomitting right away. It's the worst thing but I have to hold back for Yuuri's sake. Instead, I give him a compliment.

"It's good. This one tasted better than the last cupcake you made. The texture is somewhat softer so I like it." -More like because that way, I don't have to spend too many times to try and chew the cupcake- "You have improved."

"Really ?! That's great ! Thanks, Yama-chan !" Yuuri looked genuinely happy as he threw his arms at me to give me a quick hug. I could only smile.

"I need to go the toilet. You wait up here, okay." I said as I stood from my seat.

Yuuri just nodded while waving his hand at me, seemingly eager to spread his cupcakes to the whole class already. I wave back at him with a smile, but when I'm out of his sight, I took a dash. As soon as I reach the bathroom, I quickly enter one of the stall and slam the door closed. Once inside, I hold onto my stomach and bit my lower lip to prevent myself from vomitting. It hurts so bad that I found myself crying over it, and I wish that the feeling will be over soon. I swallow back the lump on my throat and urge myself to just digest the food already. And finally, after a few minutes which felt like hours, that sick feeling finally pass and I slid down the wall in relief.

"Look Yuuri, I finally eat the cake you made."

***

I heard someone opening the door and enter the room. Knowing the only person who will enter my room without a knock, I decided to simply ignore him as I stare out of the window.

"Ryo-chan ? Are you awake ?"

Taking a deep breath, I turn around and face the intruder. He knows that I'm awake so why bother asking ?

"Yeah." I answered him nonetheless. "What do you need ?"

"Nothing." He said. "Are you feeling better now ?"

I give him a shrug. "More or less. Don't worry, it'll pass eventually."

"Okay." He nodded. But then I could read from his face that he has something in mind but is hesitating to voice it out. So unlike him, I thought.

"What is it ? I know you have something in mind so just spill." I tell him flatly, feeling somehow annoyed by his hesitation.

He looked mildly surprised, but soon is able to compose himself back. He took a deep breath before asking, "Why did you do that ?"

I frown. "Do what ?" I asked him back.

"That." He pointed out. "Forcing yourself to eat human foods eventhough you knew that it will get you sick."

I sighed. I know that this question is coming sooner or later from him. But I've heard it lots enough, and thus I have an answer prepared for this moment.

"I know. But it's not like I have much of a choice, right ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"The one who baked that cake, he is my friend, Nakajima -a human friend. I can't just tell him that I can't eat human's foods, can I ?"

"But you can make an excuse that you have a stomachache so you don't have to eat his cakes, right ?"

"Once, perhaps. But every single time ? He will start questioning it. He will suspect that I am not a human, and it will danger me -us- and our existence here."

"You can stop being his friend then. Or anyone's friend at that matter. No one will ask you to eat their food or questioning you about not eating a food if you do so." He suggested, much to my frustation.

"I'm enrolling to a human's high school, Nakajima. I have to blend in with them. People will suspect me for hiding something if I've become a loner." I argued back.

"Then stop schooling altogether then !" He yelled at me, face full of exasperation. "I don't want to see you hurt any further !"

I was almost taken aback by his sudden outburst, but then decided that I'm too tired and feeling too sick for that. So I sighed instead and sat up.

"Nakajima-" I called out, all the while phrasing the words I want to convey inside my head. "Why are you like this ? Why do you care about me this much ? We have not known each other that long, so why ?"

Instead of answering, Nakajima hung his head low, avoiding any eye contact.

"If you won't even tell me that, then there's no reason for me to do as you say. So please, mind your own business and stop interfering with mine." I told him before pulling the blanket up my shoulders. "If you will excuse me then, I want to sleep and rest. Please don't disturb me anymore."

Nakajima said nothing to me, but I heard him shuffling around as he stood up and walked away. And soon enough, I heard the door being opened and closed, a sign that he had left the room. I sighed. His behaviour was really a mystery. But again, if he's not willing to tell, then I won't pry. I really am not in the mood of playing detectives, really.

***

I'm not back in my best condition yet when that news came.

"What ? Tell me that again ?" I widened my eyes in disbelief.

Yabu-san looked at me in regret, before repeating his words.

"Yuto-kun was captured by Akanishi from Aogiri yesterday night. Or from what I've heard, he gave himself away."

"But why ? Did he lost a battle or something ?" I demanded. Nakajima was not a weakling. I’ve seen him fight a couple of doves sometimes ago, and he was quite skilled in battle. But against someone of Akanishi's caliber, even Yuya-san will have a hard time. And it was something because Yuya-san is known to be the strongest of us all.

"No. He's not." Yabu-san shook his head.

"Then why-?"

"It was because of you."

I widened my eyes at the words coming from Kei-kun's mouth. He has bandages all over his body, an aftermath from the previous battle. He was the only other one there when Akanishi and the people from Aogiri came last night and made their ambush, so he should know.

"What do you mean, Kei-san ?"

The man looked at me sympathetically before saying, "There was this other man here yesterday. He kept on asking for you while staring at us with this scary look. I don't know his intentions, but from what I saw, I can only predict bad things coming from him. And when he said that he'll search through the building to find you, Yuto-kun tried to stop him."

I hold my breath at Kei-san's explanation. A familiar figure forming on my head.

"They dueled for a while and was in an even ground before Akanishi came to interfere. Yuto-kun was overwhelmed, but refused to give up. I helped him but we were no match to Akanishi's power. I was partly giving up when Yuto-kun screamed out that he'll do whatever they want if only they will stop looking for you. The other guy protested, but Akanishi stopped him. From the first time we saw them, I know that something is wrong. And when his eyes gleamed in excitement when he approached Yuto-kun, I know what Akanishi really wanted."

I stared at Kei-san in horror. We all know what Akanishi wanted. He was famous for this unusual hobby after all.

"He wanted Yuto-kun to be his new experiment."

***

"Ryosuke-kun, why would the guy from Aogiri wanted from you ?"

I refuse to turn back as I fumbled through the buttons of my shirt. I want -no, I need to tell Yabu-kun and the others about this.

"It's not like it was Aogiri that has something to do with me." I started. "It's just that that guy from last night ? He's the one I have some business with."

"Who is he actually ?" Kei-san asked.

"His name is Yamashita Tomohisa." I told him. "He's my brother."

"Brother ?"

I nodded. "We've got different fathers though. His father died when he was young, so he grew up with me when our mother remarried with my father."

"So what does he want from you exactly ?"

"He wanted a revenge."

"What ? But why ?"

"Because I killed his mother. Our mother."

***

Yabu-san told me not to come with them to rescue Nakajima, but I paid him no heed and came along still. Dai-chan, who came a little later with Hikaru-san and Keito, scolded me for being stubborn. And because of that, he forced me to stay back in wait with Keito and Yabu-san while they make their move.

"But when thing went out of hand, I swear I'll jump in no matter what you say." I agreed reluctantly in the end.

Yabu-san made a small chuckle before patting my head in affection.

"Sure thing. But I do hope that things won't go out of hand still. Let's just hope, for everyone to come back safely, okay ? Of course, Yuto-kun too."

I nodded and looked away. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Keito smile.  
Other than Dai-chan, he's the closest friend I have here. We barely talk with each other, but for some mysterious reasons I have yet to figure out, he seemed to be the one who understood me best.

The team dispersed the second Yabu-san gave them the words.

***

It's almost morning and none of them have returned. I'm getting anxious, and I know that it's not helping us. Anyone has yet to make a contact with Keito, everyone could be in a greater danger than what we've expected, or worse-

"Everything is going to be alright, Ryosuke-kun. Please stop thinking for  
the worst." Yabu-san's voice rang in the silence, and I can only nod.

"Someone's calling." Keito suddenly speak up. "It's, Daiki."

"What is he saying ?" I beat Yabu-san in asking Keito about what had happened. Finally, after hours of waiting and waiting, someone finally made a call.

Keito frowned and said nothing for a few seconds, before nodding his head and turn to us. "It's impossible for them to move forward. They've came across the elites and somehow had everything under control. But they're too occupied they can't move any further. The guards are too persistent in letting them pass. They need some backup."

"I will go." I said more to myself than to the two of them. Yabu-san seemed contemplating the idea before sighing and nod his head.

"I understand. But since it's dangerous to go alone, I believe the three of us should go together. Keito-kun, please stay sharp." Yabu-san instructed us.

Keito hesitated for a while.

"Actually, Yabu-san, there's something more."

"What is it ?"

"Daiki, he said that that Yamashita guy was there as well. Yuya-kun is handling him by now, but I believe that he will turn his attention to Ryosuke when he notice him." A concerned look is on Keito's face as he said this.

"Are you sure about that ?" Yabu-san asked, trying to confirm the news.

Keito nod. "Daiki said that Kei-kun had recognized the man the moment he stepped into the battle. There's no mistaking it. He's the man from the last ambush."

***

"Ryosuke, are you really sure about this ?"

I halted my steps to look into Keito properly, and smile.

"I've known since long that I will have to face him sooner or later."

"But-"

"It's okay. I'll be okay. Trust me."

***

A scream fill the dome-like room, followed by a maniacal laughters from the only two occupants. One being chain-tied to a chair, the other one standing above with a screwdiver in hand.

"That's it, young man. Scream, scream, SCREAM !" The standing man pointed the tool at the other's chest. "Hnn, it's a little crooked, don't you think ? We should fix it."

"AARRGGGGHHHH !"

***

'Nakajima ?'

I jerk when I felt like I heard his voice and turn my head for a second. But that one moment of distraction has made my enemy took the chance and give me a blow to the chest. I gasp at the pain while being flown a few metres back.

"That's no good, Ryo. You have to make sure you're paying attention." Came the mocking voice of my enemy. "Or else you might be killed without even realizing it."

I cringed at the sarcasm he implied at the words. I jump and dodge his attacks while thinking of a way to beat this bastard as soon as possible.

"What's wrong, Ryo ? Why won't you let your kagune out ? Big brother is waiting, you know."

I hold my breath as I dodge yet another attack. I know that the others are starting to look at me the moment he said that words. But I have no time to spare for it.

"I am using my kagune, you stupid." I hissed under my breath, aiming my tail-like kagune to the back of his head.

The man chuckled while catching my tail with his own as if he had anticipated the move.

"Not this one, silly. It's the other one. Don't you remember ? It's the one you used against 'mother'."

At the mention of the word 'mother', for some reasons all I see is red. I yelled before lunging at him full force, sending him to the ground with a loud thud. Instead of surprised, the bastard looked like he's amused with this situation, and it angered me more.

"Come one, Ryo~ I know you can do it~" He whispered before sending me a hard kick.

I cough on my knees, eyes locked on his figure in rage.

"Let your brother see your kagune one more time, Ryo." He smile. "Let me see the thing which has killed mother one last time." His face darkened as he stood and approach me. "Before I crush it to pieces, along with it's bearer who was too incompetent to have it under control."

I barely could react as he pointed his kagune at me. I rolled to the side, with scratches decorating my whole body. I tried to stand and make a run, but he was faster and deliver another attack. I tasted blood as I coughed the pain down. He was ready for another attack, and I was too tired to dodge. I drew a shaky breath before chuckling ironically. Perhaps, this was not a good idea after all.

"I'm sorry, Nii-san."

And so I close my eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary :  
> *Ghoul = A creature with appearance of those of human, who feasts on a human -or even fellow ghoul- to survive. They cannot eat human's food aside from water and coffee for it tasted horrible for their tongue. It is said that eating human's food for a ghoul equals eating animal's poop for a human.  
> A ghoul also has a very high regenerative system and has a high tolerance of pain. That's why normal attack cannot kill a ghoul. Though, when a ghoul received a very critical injury, it is possible for them to die before they have the chance to heal themselves.  
> A notable characteristic of a ghoul is their kagune, and blood-shot eyes. But their kagune can be hidden, and their eye-colour can be altered at will.  
> *Kagune = Somekind of body extension which becomes a weapon of it's owner. Each kagunes has it's own characteristic which differentiate the type of ghoul of it's bearer.  
> *Dove = Ghoul-hunters. They're human who hunt ghoul down.  
> *Quinque = A special weapon which was made from a ghoul's kagune. It can be shape-shifted, but it will mostly hold the characteristic of it's original kagune form.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have always wondered, why does this world have never been fair to the likes of us ? Was it so wrong to be born like this ? Do we have to be blamed for the fate we can't choose ? If so, then why did God created us ? Is there a purpose yet to be known for our existence ? Is there a meaning at all for us to continue living in this world where we could only suffer ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Age guide :  
> Yabu Kota : 35 years old  
> Takaki Yuya : 30 years old  
> Inoo Kei : 29 years old  
> Yaotome Hikaru : 34 years old  
> Arioka Daiki : 18 years old  
> Okamoto Keito : 20 years old  
> Yamada Ryosuke : 17 years old  
> Nakajima Yuto : 18 years old  
> Chinen Yuri : 17 years old
> 
> Yamashita Tomohisa : 23 years old  
> Akanishi Jin : 33 years old  
> Nakajima parents : 51 years old

I was six when I figure out that I was different from my brother. Before this, we could never know because no matter what we did, my kagune just won't manifest. He will always tell me that it's okay though, that it will come out eventually. I was sure that he was right, after all, we eat the same thing everyday, and I was as disgusted as he was when presented with human's foods.  
  
But today, something happened and that's when I knew that I was different.  
  
Our kagunes are different. His look like a fox-tail with four ends. They're flexible like a gum and felt squishy to the touch. They're similar to what our mother had, just not very same. I had always thought that I will be having a similar kagune.  
  
So imagine how surprised I was, when the first time my kagune was manifested, they will look very different than those of my brother's and mother's. It's hard and not flexible, but it's expendable. I can dissolve it to many small pieces, like a thousand of small knives. And it's form, it's nothing near a tail. It's more like, a wing. Spreading to each of my sides.  
  
My brother and mother praised me to be having a beautiful kagune and adore it. But then their reaction changed as they took a proper look at my face. My brother looked more surprised than anything else. But my mother, she seemed as if she had seen a ghost. I was confused. I paddled slowly at her, but then she screamed and ran from me.  
  
It was a great blow for me. I turned my head to my brother, asking for an explanation. He just shook his head, and took out a hand-mirror from his pocket instead of answering.  
  
I took the mirror from his hands, all the while trying to figure out the reason of our mother's sudden run. But all thoughts left my mind as I saw my reflection on the mirror.  
  
"Nii-san ? Why does only one of my eye turned red ?"  
  
***  
  
Our mother stopped talking to me since then, and I was too young to understand. I kept on crying every single night, asking my brother as to why our mother had stopped loving me over and over again. But my brother had never given me an answer, only stroking my back and let me cry on his chest until I fell asleep.  
  
It was not until a year later that things began to change. At that point, I had somehow given up on our mother. I've tried many things, anything I could think of, to try and have Mother talk to me again, even if it was just a simple scold. But none of those have succeeded. Instead, everytime I caused a ruckus, Mother would just looked at me with cold and judging eyes for a split second, before turning her back on me. It was always my brother who will take care of me afterwards.  
  
And thus, I stopped trying altogether. I see no meaning in doing so any further, so I gave up. I caught my brother talking to our mother one day, telling her that she should stop acting all cold around me and just accept reality. He also said his concerns that I've begun to change. That I've grown distant and mellow. He told our mother that he was afraid I'd matured before time.  
  
Our mother doesn't care.  
  
I felt tears pricking on my eyes the moment Mother said that it was none of her concerns that I've changed. That I can do everything I want to and she just doesn't care. I was ready to leave when my brother spoke, desperation thick on his voice.  
  
"It wasn't his fault that he's like that, Mom. You can't blame him for things he didn't know of."  
  
And I knew that there's something that mother and brother knew, but kept a secret from me. And that thing, has something to do with why I'm different.  
  
***  
  
I sneaked inside my father's study one night, after I made sure that everyone is asleep already. From before when father was still alive, up until he died, everyone kept on saying that I should stay away from his study. They told me that father is a scientist and he does dangerous things in his study, so I should stay away or I might get myself hurt.  
  
I don't think that was the only reason though. Especially after that particular conversation between mother and brother a while back.  
  
Indeed, the inside of my father's study is that of a scientist's. And it kinda surprised me that it still seemed like it's in use on a daily basis even years after the owner died. I assumed that mother spent lots of her time here every once in a while. Cleaning the room or simply idling around.  
  
I left the pile of tubes and viles alone, and move onward to the cupboard one the other end of the room. As expected, almost all of father's book collections are those related to science -things I don't really understand. But as I scanned the stacks of books, I found this one book different from the others. It has no title, no authors, and it looks suspiciously like a journal. In my curiousity, I started to read the book.  
  
I have yet to learned that many kanji, so I don't really understand the contents of the book -journal-. But I still recognized my father's writings and a few words in it. And as I read more and more, I found myself in a terror.  
  
From what I could grasp, it seems like that my father had done a little secret experiment. He was trying to humanized our kinds by doing an illegal transplant of a human body part on a ghoul. And his very first subject was..  
  
"Me ?!"  
  
"Ryosuke, what are you doing ?"  
  
The book fell from my hands in my surprise, and I quickly turn around to find a certain figure staring at me with accussing eyes.  
  
In normal situation, I would be running in happiness to finally have my mother talking to me again. But now, after everything, I can't seem to find the will to feel the slightiest happiness about it.  
  
"I said, what are you doing ?"  
  
I can't find a word to say as she stride closer and closer to me. She stared at me, and then at the fallen book on my feet. She frowned for a moment, before her face turned into those of horror.  
  
"You can't be-"  
  
"What am I, Mother ?" I finally said, despite the tremble on my voice. "I'm not a ghoul, but neither am I a human."  
  
She widened her eyes and took a step back.  
  
"So what am I ?"  
  
***  
  
Everything was a blur after that. I don't really know what's happening. All I wanted was an explanation, but mother refused to explain a thing. So I think I must have lost it. Because the next thing I know, was my brother's face by the door, staring at me like I'm somekind of a monster. And when I came to it, I realized that everything in the room now painted in red, and that our mother's body parts lying everywhere in the room. And that I, myself, is covered in blood.  
  
"Ryosuke, what had happened ?" Brother asked me, his voice demanded an explanation.  
  
"I, don't know." I answered him, voice surprisingly calm.  
  
By now, I believe that brother had somehow grasped the situation, because his expression had changed from fear, to anger. His eyes turned red as he looked at me in rage, and his kagune seeped out from his back, flying across the room in a wild manner. And before I could react, he lunged at me full force. In a split second, I moved aside to dodge his attack, but exactly at that split second, that my brother charged at my left kagune, breaking it to pieces.  
  
I moaned at the pain, but managed to compose myself to dodge his next attacks. I was bruised and scratched and everything felt hurt. And that's when everything came back to me.  
  
My brother pinned me to the floor when I started crying all over again. I felt my kagune dispersed, and my eyes turned black. My brother's fist stopped mid-air and neither of us moved an inch. From my glassy eyes, I looked at my brother's unreadable eyes, before I felt his grip on me loosened.  
  
In my hectic mind, I find this as a chance and pushed him as hard as my weakened body can, and run with all my might. I don't care where I'm going or how long have I been running. I just wanted to get away.  
  
It was when my mind began to wandered back to my past memories that I felt my strength had left me. I groaned as my body hit the ground hard, but I can't bring myself up the second time. So I stayed.  
  
Everything seemed hazy as times goes by. I faintly heard footsteps approaching me, but it sounded so faraway and it's not like I care. I was half-unconscious when I felt long-yet-slender arms wrapped around me in a comforting embrace, and wondered if this is how I die.  
  
"And I'm not even eight yet."  
  
Then everything turned black.  
  
***  
  
It appears, that I'm not dead just yet.  
  
A young boy, probably around my age, had saved me that day. He told me that he's a ghoul too, so I don't have to be afraid. He asked me what was wrong, but I said nothing and just kept a solemn look. He didn't pry, and I'm glad for it.  
  
From then on, he questioned nothing, and just let me live with him. He fed me, and took care of me. He's energetic, and cheerful most of the time. But when he felt that I'm feeling down, he will smile at me serenely and said nothing.  
  
It'd been days but no one else has come to his place. I wondered if he still has his parents or not, but too afraid to ask. After all, it would be rude of me since I'm not telling him anything myself, right ?  
  
"My parents are still alive, it's just that they're traveller, so they left me by myself most of the times." The boy said out of the blue one day. "That's why I was so happy when you start living here with me. I'm not lonely anymore."  
  
I must have looked at him with questioning look, because he chuckled the next moment.  
  
"It was written all over your face. And since you won't bring yourself to ask, I do you a favour of telling you beforehand instead." He place his palm on top of my head, rubbing my hair while he's at it.  
  
"You're cute~ I like you."  
  
***  
  
Before I knew it, I found myself become attached to him. We start to talk more and laugh and do lots of things together. And from there I learnt that he's actually older than me by a year. And to him, I'm like a little brother. I haven't told him about my past though, it's just, I don't think I'm ready to tell him just yet.  
  
His parents came home around a month after I start living with him, and though surprised, they welcomed me just as warm as their son. But just like he had told me, they left again the next day, waving and smiling at us as they walked further and further.  
  
Later that afternoon, he told me that he has some errands to do, and that he has to leave for a while. He told me to stay like a good child while he's away, and I could only nod. I must have pouted a little, because the next thing he does was laughing before patting my head affectionately.  
  
"I won't be long, Ryo-chan. So before you can feel the tiniest bit of loneliness, I'll be back again. Okay ?"  
  
I nod at him again, and bid him goodbye as he left the house. I tried to be a good boy and read some books he lent me, but soon find myself bored. I decided that a quick look around the house won't hurt, so I start exploring. After I'm done inside, I walked down to the backdoor and wandered around the small garden. I saw the flowerbeds planted with different type of flowers in different colours, giving it a good vibe. I smiled before walking further.  
  
I had helped around the garden a little. Watering the plants or picking the flowers, but had never wandered further than that. I was told that it was a bit dangerous there, since it was the edge of the forest. But it's still bright and I thought that as long as I don't go too far, everything will be okay, so I kept on walking.  
  
But I seemed to have miscalculated things and before I knew it, I was surrounded by a pack of wolves. I started to tremble in fear, thinking hard as to how to get out of there and returned to the house as soon as possible.  
  
But while I'm thinking, one of the wolves charged at me, baring it's sharp fangs. I widened my eyes in surprise, but managed to move aside. But at that exact moment, another wolf came from my behind and bite on my arm, pulling it off.  
  
I screamed at the pain, but was slightly relieved when I felt my muscles and flesh regenerating. I was hesitating for a moment, but decided that it's the only way for me to survive. And so, I activated my kagune -and realizing that only half of it came out-, before I start beating all the wolves around.  
  
It took me less than a minute to take down the whole pack, and decided that I should hurry home and wash up the bloods staining my body. But when I turned around, I saw him looking at me, eyes wide in surprise, mouth agape.  
  
***  
  
He said nothing as we reached home. Only gestured me to clean up before closing the bathroom door. I was confused, and scared of what he will do after finding out that I'm not normal. But decided that nothing will occur even if I stand still by the door. So I striped myself off of my clothes and took a quick shower.  
  
As I walked out the bath, I find a clean pile of clothes by the desk and sighed, before reaching out and wear them on. I carefully walked out of the bathroom after that, and after noticing that he's not around, I start looking.  
  
I found him on the living room, sitting by the couch, with a steaming cup of coffee on the table across him. The only thing of human's foods aside from water which we could actually digest without vomitting.  
  
He turned to me when he heard me coming, and smiled as he reached out a hand.  
  
"Come, I'll dry your hair."  
  
I was too lost in thought to reply, so I let my body move in auto-pilot as I sat on the carpet, his legs trapping me. He then took the towel from around my neck, and begin to dry my hair gently.  
  
He said nothing while he did so, and I was too afraid to ask for his thought about the previous incident.  
  
"There, all done. Go and drink your coffee while it's warm. Though coffee might be a little strong for you, the warmth will do you some good. And it’s not much, so I think it’s okay." He told me with his warm and comforting voice.  
  
I'm not taking the chocolate though. My mind was too full of anticipation to do so. I could hear him sigh before he pulled me up and seated me on his side.  
  
"I thought I was going to make you relax for a bit, but I think it's useless with you acting all like this." He said to me. "Listen carefully, Ryo-chan. I'm going to tell you something very important."  
  
I nod at him, and he smiled at me before continuing.  
  
"You, you are different from the rest of us. You're neither a ghoul, nor a human. You're what they called a 'one-eyed ghoul'. A hybrid." He paused for a moment. "I've seen people reacting to a one-eyed ghoul before, and they're not a very good reaction. Some says that a one-eyed ghoul is much stronger than a normal ghoul, so there are some people out there hunting for a one-eyed ghoul, and some even went so far as to create them, to make them a soldier. A killer-machine."  
  
I widened my eyes in surprise. The memories from that fateful day came back at me.  
  
"And the others, they despised them. They thought that a one-eyed ghould doesn't belong with the rest of us -the normal ghoul- and banned them from society, because they're a taboo. Either ways, things just don't favour to the hybrids."  
  
"Are- are you going to banned me ? Or m-make me a killer ?" I asked fearfully.  
  
He smiled at me, again. "I'm doing neither." He said reassuringly to me.  
"And since we've come to this, I will tell you about it now. You see, my mother is a human. And it is said that love between ghoul and human is taboo, for when they're married and have a child, that child will most probably be a one-eyed ghoul."  
  
"So you're like me ?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"For some unknown reasons, I was born a full-pledged ghoul." He told me. "But my younger brother was not. He was born as a hybrid."  
  
"You have a brother ?"  
  
For the first time since I've lived with him, I saw him having a solemn look.  
  
"I had one. But he died a couple of years ago."  
  
I looked away in shame. How insensitive of me to asked him about his deceased brother ?  
  
"Don't make that face. It's not like you're at fault." He gave a low chuckle. "Well, anyway, our parents was afraid that my brother will be shunned from society, so they find a way to hide about the fact that he's a one-eyed ghoul. It took them quite sometimes, but they managed to find a way. And somehow, my brother doesn't seem like a one-eyed ghoul anymore."  
  
"What did they do ?"  
  
"They planted a device on him, so that whenever he activated his kagune, both his eyes will turned red. And for some reasons, it alternated the form of his kagune too. But aside from that, there was no after-effect and everything was alright for a while."  
  
His eyes looked at afar, and I knew that he was reminiscing the past because his eyes suddenly turned glassy.  
  
"But then, in the most unfortunate event, my brother accidentally activated his original kagune, and thus have everyone aware of the fact that he's a one-eyed ghoul. It was a chaos back then. Suddenly, it was a warzone. And the next day, we're carrying my brother's ash and bury him deep on the ground. We moved quickly after our brother's burial. And since then on, my parents decided to be a wanderer and was never home."  
  
"I see." I looked down and find that the hem of my shirt suddenly become so interesting. "I'm envious of your brother."  
  
"Hmm ?"  
  
"You see, when my mother first know about me being different, she suddenly stopped talking to me. My brother was still kind to me though, so I'm not very lonely." I started off. "I don't know why I was different, so one day, I sneaked into my late father's study. The only place I was forbidden to enter to."  
  
I looked up, but avoided his eyes.  
  
"And that's where I learned about the fact that I was a subject to my father's experiment. I originally was a full-pledged ghoul, but my father did something to me which made me like this. And that's when I lost it, I think."  
  
"What happened ?"  
  
I bit my lips, but knowing that after coming this far, I'd better tell him everything.  
  
"I killed our mother. And my brother, who came afterwards, came to attack me. I didn't even realized of what I've done until I was scarred and beaten down. When everything came to me, I guess I cried. It took my brother by the surprise I think, because he suddenly let me go. And that's when I took the chance and ran. And that's when you found me."  
  
He said nothing even after I long finished my story. I guess this is it. He's going to hate me because I'm a murderer and kicked me out. Or worse, handing me to those who hunted the likes of me.  
  
I was in the middle of thinking the worst-case scenario when he pulled me into his embrace. I was too surprised to even think of a reaction but he only pulled me tighter.  
  
"I'm sorry. It must have been rough for you." He whispered brokenly to my ears. "It's okay, Ryosuke. It's not your fault. It's okay."  
  
Perhaps it was the strain from the previous act, or perhaps everything just finally took it's toll on me, I found myself clutching onto his shirt like it was my lifeline, and wailed like a baby. His hands stroking my back felt so comforting and I was brought back to the times when my brother used to consoled me when I was crying. And I could only cry louder.  
  
***  
  
I must have fallen asleep somewhere during my cry and he brought me to bed, because I have no recollection of walking to my bed myself. I tried to sit up, but my head was too heavy so I gave up on the idea. It was then when I heard voices talking in a hushed voice no too far from me.  
  
"It has succeeded with Raiya because he was born a hybrid. We don't have a guarantee it will do the same on this boy !?"  
  
"Can you find out somehow whether it will leave an after-effect for him, Dad ? Or perhaps find another solution ?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Dad, please. I don't want him to suffer like Raiya did. He can't have his real identity exposed at any cost."  
  
"I'll try."  
  
"Thanks, Dad. You know it means a lot to me."  
  
"Don't be, son. I can understand your feelings perfectly. Seeing someone like him, I was reminded to Raiya myself. I just don't want anyone else to feel the same way he felt just because they're different."  
  
I was too confused to comprehend their conversation, but decided that it doesn't matter now. My head felt too heavy, so I let myself drifted back to sleep once again.  
  
***  
  
The next time I woke up, I was inside an unfamiliar room. Panicked by the strange surrounding, I jolted up, only to hissed in pain because it gave me a headache. I heard a rustle, before feeling a presence on my side.  
  
"Are you okay ?"  
  
I nod despite not knowing who's asking, and let myself to be pushed gently so I was leaning on the pillow.  
  
"Are you hurt somewhere ? Or do you feel sick or anything ?"  
  
"No, I'm not. But-" I trailed off.  
  
"But ?"  
  
"May I know who you are ? And where am I ?"  
  
I remembered that person looking at me in horror.  
  
***  
  
"Hello. My name is Nakajima Yuushi. Can I ask you a few questions ?"  
  
I nod. The middle-aged man seemed friendly, so I decided to trust him.  
  
"I need you to answer my questions honestly. You don't have to be afraid, I won't do anything bad to you, so please don't hide anything, alright ?"  
  
Again, I nod.  
  
"Okay, first, what's your name ?"  
  
"Yamada Ryosuke."  
  
"Good. And your age ?"  
  
"I'm almost 8."  
  
"Very well. Now can you tell me about your family ?"  
  
I hesitated for a moment, but the man patiently waiting with a smile so I sighed and answer.  
  
"My father is Yamada Tatsuhiro. He died when I was five. He was a scientist. My mother is Yamada Fuyumi. She lost her first husband before he married my father. She had a son named Tomohisa from her previous marriage, who later became my half-brother. My mother-"  
  
"Yes ?"  
  
"She died a while back. I killed him. I think."  
  
"I see." The man nodded, but he said nothing to judge me. "Can you please tell me what happened ?"  
  
I hesitated, but nod anyway.  
  
"I'm different from my family. When my kagune first manifested, it has different form from anyone in the family. And also, only one of my eye turned red. Later on, I figured out that I'm not a full ghoul. My father had experimented on me to make me half-human. That's why I'm different. That's why my mother hated me. That's why I killed her. That's why brother have a grudge on me."  
  
I didn't even know when I started crying. It was only when the man wiped his finger on my cheek that I realized.  
  
"I know it's hard for you, but can please continue for me ?" He asked gently and I can only concur.  
  
"I don't really remember what's happening, but when I came to it, my mother had died and my brother was attacking me. But then I was crying and it put him off guards, I think, and that's when I took a run. Everything was a blur after that, and I guess I collapsed while I'm at it, and now, I suddenly woke up here."  
  
"Did anything happened after you ran away ? Do you remember the one who saved you after you collapsed ?"  
  
I frowned.  
  
"I don't know. I thought you saved me ?"  
  
The man shook his head.  
  
"I didn't. My son over there," He pointed to the same young man I first saw when I woke up who stood silently the whole time by the corner. "was the one who had saved you."  
  
"I see." I locked my gaze on Nakajima-san's son and bowed at him. "Thank you for saving me."  
  
"Now, Ryosuke-kun. One last question from me." The man said, pulling his attention back at him. "Do you know what you are ?"  
  
"A one-eyed ghoul ?" I answered him, all the while wondering where that answer came from. "I think someone told me that."  
  
"Do you know anything about a one-eyed ghoul ?"  
  
"I guess," I started. "People don't really like a one-eyed ghoul. They're a taboo child so they shunned my kinds away. But for some people, they hunted us down to make us their personal killer-machine. Because a one-eyed ghoul is so much stronger than normal ghouls."  
  
"Where did you learn this ?"  
  
I frowned again.  
  
"I don't know." I told him truthfully. "I think someone told me somewhere ?"  
  
"I understand." The man nodded his head. "Now, I think you're tired from all the talking. How about get yourself more sleep ? I will wake you up later when it's dinner. Okay ?"  
  
"Okay." As if on cue, I yawned. "But Nakajima-san ?"  
  
"Yes ?"  
  
"Don't you hate me too ?"  
  
"Hmm ? Why should I ?" He asked back at me, eyes glinting in amusement.  
  
"I'm different, right ? Don't people normally hate me for being different ? I mean, my mother did. And eventhough my brother didn't hate me at first, he hates me now." I explained timidly. "Unless, unless you wanted me to be a kil-"  
  
"Of course not, silly." Nakajima-san laughed crisply. "I don't know about other people, but I personally think we shouldn't dislike someone just because they're different. It's not like you wanted to be different, right ? I judge people by their attitudes, not by their appearances. Simply like that."  
  
"But-but I've killed my mother. You should hate me." I looked down, feeling all too conscious to the stares the other two persons are giving me.  
  
"Of course, I shouldn't." The man said. "It was not your fault. Things just went out of hands and a bad accident happened. It's not like you wished to murder you mother, right ?"  
  
I nodded again, just as I yawned for the second time.  
  
"There, there. Why don't you lie down and rest some more ? We'll talk again later."  
  
"Okay."  
  
I nod and let him fixed my position before tucking me under the blanket.  
  
"Sleep well."  
  
***  
  
"Ryosuke-kun. I'm about to tell you something important. So you better listen to me very well, alright ?"  
  
I looked up from the book I was reading, and noticed the serious look on Nakajima-san's face, I closed my book and nodded.  
  
"Good." He gave me a smile. "Now. As you have known, most people out there don't accept a person like you that easily. And it's not good since you won't be able to live normally. Even as a normal ghoul, it's hard enough to blend with society. Much more for someone special like you. And for that reason, I tried to help you."  
  
"Help me ? Like what ?"  
  
"When you were unconscious a few days back, I planted a device inside your body. This device will help you to appear like a normal ghoul. The device also alternate the form of your kagune, so that if by chance you came across someone who had seen your original kagune, they won't suspected you since you have a different one."  
  
"I see."  
  
"This, however, doesn't mean that you can't change into your original form. When you're feeling extreme emotion, like extreme happiness or extreme sadness or extreme anger, the device will crashed and you will revert back to your original form. Once you have settled down, however the device will start working again and you can summon your alternative kagune again. But if you had accidently exposed your true identity for the world to see, it's pointless even if you tried to cover it afterwards. People will hunt you and prove them that you are indeed a one-eyed ghoul. And that's something we'd like to avoid."  
  
"I don't want to be hunted, Nakajima-san."  
  
"If you do, then you should try your best to maintain your emotions so you won't break the device. Can you do that ?"  
  
"I'll try my best."  
  
"Good boy." The man reached out his hand to ruffle my hair.  
  
"Now, one last thing. Starting from tomorrow, you won't be living here anymore."  
  
"Eh ? Why ? Did I do something ? If I do, then I'm sorry ! Please don't shunned me away !" I begged, eyes turning teary as I do so.  
  
"It's nothing like that, Ryosuke-kun. Trust me, if I can, I'd like to have you live here forever. Since my wive and I are travelers, we left our son alone in the house often, and your presence will somehow ease him off his loneliness."  
  
"Then why- ?"  
  
"Because of a certain circumstances, we can't have you to live here. It's too dangerous for you to stay here any longer. That's why I'm going to take you to my friend's place far from here, where you will continue to live from now on. You will be save there. My friend is a kind person, and he's trustworthy. He and I shared the same ideas, so he won't see you any differently just because you are special."  
  
"But-but I-"  
  
The man pulled me into his embrace.  
  
"I know. It must have been hard, Ryosuke-kun. But we have to do this in order to keep you save. I hope you understand."  
  
***  
  
Nakajima-san led me to a somehow antique coffee shop far from his home. He then introduced me to the owner, a young man in his twenty, whose eyes disappeared when he smiled.  
  
"Ryosuke-kun, this is the friend I told you about. His name is Yabu Kota, and he was my junior. He will be the one to take care of you from now on."  
  
"Good day. I'm Yamada Ryosuke. Nice to meet you." I bowed my head respectfully, despite still having doubts about all these changes.  
  
"Hello there, Ryosuke-kun. My name is Yabu Kota. Nice to meet you too. Let's get along well from now on, okay ?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary :  
> *Ghoul = A creature with appearance of those of human, who feasts on a human -or even fellow ghoul- to survive. They cannot eat human's food aside from water and coffee for it tasted horrible for their tongue. It is said that eating human's food for a ghoul equals eating animal's poop for a human.  
> A ghoul also has a very high regenerative system and has a high tolerance of pain. That's why normal attack cannot kill a ghoul. Though, when a ghoul received a very critical injury, it is possible for them to die before they have the chance to heal themselves.  
> A notable characteristic of a ghoul is their kagune, and blood-shot eyes. But their kagune can be hidden, and their eye-colour can be altered at will.  
> *Kagune = Somekind of body extension which becomes a weapon of it's owner. Each kagunes has it's own characteristic which differentiate the type of ghoul of it's bearer.  
> *Dove = Ghoul-hunters. They're human who hunt ghoul down.  
> *Quinque = A special weapon which was made from a ghoul's kagune. It can be shape-shifted, but it will mostly hold the characteristic of it's original kagune form.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have always wondered, why does this world have never been fair to the likes of us ? Was it so wrong to be born like this ? Do we have to be blamed for the fate we can't choose ? If so, then why did God created us ? Is there a purpose yet to be known for our existence ? Is there a meaning at all for us to continue living in this world where we could only suffer ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Age guide :  
> Yabu Kota : 35 years old  
> Takaki Yuya : 30 years old  
> Inoo Kei : 29 years old  
> Yaotome Hikaru : 34 years old  
> Arioka Daiki : 18 years old  
> Okamoto Keito : 20 years old  
> Yamada Ryosuke : 17 years old  
> Nakajima Yuto : 18 years old  
> Chinen Yuri : 17 years old
> 
> Yamashita Tomohisa : 23 years old  
> Akanishi Jin : 33 years old  
> Nakajima parents : 51 years old

I gasped and opened my eyes wide only to see my brother's figure looming over me, kagune pointed straight at my face. But instead of striking, he just stared at me unmoving. And that's when I see that he's not really looking at me, but instead at something behind my back.  
  
And that's when everything fell into place.  
  
I could hear the surprised gasps coming from our surrounding, but decided that things have been done and there's nothing I could do to undone it. While I'm at it, I better take care of it fast.  
  
I aimed my kagune at my brother's stomach and attack, effectively sending him groaning in pain a few metres away. I then stood up, and make a quick scan. There are only six people of our team, and the rest are enemies.  
  
I jumped on my feet and begin my ambush, striking the enemies one by one, sending them to their graves in a split second while they're still in shock. These guys were said to be elites, but as I faced them properly, they're no more than a bunch of weaklings.  
  
I halted in my steps as the thought passed by.  
  
"No, Ryosuke. Don't let _it_ controlled you. You're the one who's in control."  
  
And I dashed to the last person. My brother. But instead of crawling in fear, he laughed at me.  
  
"Finally ! You finally showed us your true colour, Ryosuke ! Big brother is proud of you !"  
  
I had enough of his sarcasm. Was this person really the one who used to gave me comforting hugs ? Was this person really the one who used to begged our mother for mercy in my stead ? Was this person really the one who used to promised me that he will always be my ally even when the world turn it's back on me ?  
  
I roared as I plunged at him. I felt my kagune shape-shifting before releasing the thousand of tiny blades straight at my brother's figure. Landing right in front of his bloodied figure, I hardened my fist and pushed it through his heart.  
  
But when I expected a counter-move, I had never imagined him pulling me close instead.  
  
"Re-really.. I'm p-proud.. you.. R-ryo.. Sorry f-for.. what ou-our mother d-did.. N-nii-san couldn't.. sa-save you then.. T-this is the on-only.. redemption I could.. t-think of.. Though th-there's nothing.. can e-erase the si-sin.. we've com-committed.."  
  
I was beyond surprised at the words he's saying. Does he try to play some trick on me ? I thought as I pulled back. But as I stared straight into his tears-filled eyes, I know that he's being sincere. And that's when I fully realized what has been happening.  
  
"Nii-san.. ?" I heard myself calling.  
  
He smiled at me, despite being in lots of pain. He smiled at me.  
  
"R-ryosuke.. I'm sor-sorry.." And then he closed his eyes.  
  
"Nii-san ?" I start to shake his body softly. "Nii-san ?!"  
  
I panicked, and could do nothing but to yell out and call his name. Until a hand pulled me back and away from my brother's unconscious figure.  
  
"Ryosuke-kun ! Listen to me !"  
  
I was pulled back into reality at the serious tone of Yabu-san's voice.  
  
"No one else may see you like this. You must go and hide before anyone catches us." Yabu-san told me firmly.  
  
"But my brother- ?"  
  
"I will take care of him. He has yet to die and Kei-kun is doing all he can now to save him." I took a side glance and saw Kei-san doing his magic on my brother. "As for Nakajima-kun, the rest of us will take care of it. Please go somewhere save. I'll have Keito-kun to be with you for the time being."  
  
"Nakajima ?" I tested the name, and soon, a figure long buried within the deepest part of my mind erupted.  
  
_"Why can't he remember us ?"_  
  
_"It must have been an after-effect the drug has on him."_  
  
_"But, Dad-"_  
  
_"It might have been for the best, Yuto. With him not remembering. Please understand."_  
  
"Yu-to ?"  
  
_"Come, Ryo-chan. I'll teach you how to pick the roses."_  
  
_"Don't wanna ! What if the thorns pricked me ? It's going to be hurt !"_  
  
_"You will heal soon enough, you won't even remember the pain !"_  
  
_"But still-"_  
  
_"Aww~ Don't pout like that. It's alright. I will teach you how to pick the roses without injuring yourself."_  
  
_"You will ?"_  
  
_"Of course !"_  
  
_"Yeay~ Then let's pick the roses, Yutti !"_  
  
"Yutti ?"  
  
"Ryosuke-kun !" Yabu-san shook my shoulders, sending me back from my daze. 

"Please go quickly !" He ushered me, and behind him, Keito is standing still on stand-by.  
  
I took a deep breath, and shook my head.  
  
"No. I won't go anywhere."  
  
"Ryosuke-kun !"  
  
"Please, Yabu-san !" I begged him. "In this state, I might be the only one who has a chance against Akanishi. We must make use of this situation to our advantage and save Yuto while we can."  
  
Yabu-san seemed to be taken aback by my words. Whether it was my statement as a whole, or because he noticed the change of call of Yuto's name, I have no idea.  
  
"We can't risk your identity to be exposed, Ryosuke. We can't proceed with your plan." Surprisingly, it was Yuya-san instead who replied at me. "Please trust us. We can take care of Akanishi."  
  
"Yes. With your powers combined, you might be able to hold Akanishi down." I looked down at my feet. "But I want- no, I need to be the one to save Yuto now !"  
  
"But-"  
  
"He's my saviour ! I might have died since a long time ago without him and his families ! Or worse, I might have been turned into something I never wanted to be !" I screamed in frustation. "Is it so wrong for me to want to save him and return the favour ?"  
  
From the corner of my eyes, I catch Yabu-san's figure about to argue back. But a hand on his shoulder stopped him, and Hikaru-san's voice, deep yet soft, so different than his usual cheerful endemeanor, spoke, "We understand. Please do whatever you need to do. We will do something about the rest."  
  
"Hikaru !" Yabu-san's voice of protest quickly came.  
  
"No, Kota. This is something the boy has to do himself. And the best thing we can do now, is to support him in every way we can." Hikaru-san reasoned even before Yabu-san can say further.  
  
Yabu-san seemed contemplative for a few seconds, before sighing.  
  
“I understand. But I still cannot allow you to move alone. Yuya-kun, please back him up.”  
  
“Understood.”  
  
***  
  
“What’s wrong boy? Come on, scream some more for me.”  
  
Yuto had half-way gave up. He had somehow numbed his feelings and blocked things which is trying to come in. Since when was it that he had stopped screaming ? Was that when Akanishi cut his right leg off ? Or was it when he forced a centipede down into his throat ? Ah, how many times has his fingers regenerate again ?  
  
Perhaps he was losing his mind already, that even such thoughts did not make him flinch anymore. And he was ready to fall deeper when a voice he so recognized came into his hearing.  
  
_“Yuto !”_  
  
But again, it might have been his mind playing a trick on him. Trying to blockade the pain with good memories of the past. He could even see that face in front of him now. The adorable sweetheart he came across with a few years back had matured and changed somehow colder now, but his affection to the boy remains the same.  
  
“Ryo-chan, do you remember that night when I taught you lots of kanji ?” He asked to no one in particular. “Ah, but you have lost your memories of us, of course you can’t remember.” He smiled solemnly, remembering the words his father told him years ago.  
  
“But it’s okay. If you are okay, than I don’t mind. It’s just, I hope you’ll smile more. Smiles suits you better after all.”  
  
_“...to...”_  
  
“Ah, you finally call me by my given name. But again, it was just my mind. Of course you’d call me by my name in my mind. That’s how I wanted you to call me with.”  
  
_“Yu...to...”_  
  
“But Ryo-chan ? I have to ask you to forgive me. I can’t seem to stand by your side any longer than this. It’s my limit already. I can’t go on any longer. I’m so sorry...”  
  
_“YUTO !”_  
  
***  
  
The scene which came to our sights the moment Yuya-san and I entered Akanishi’s lair was beyond any of our imagination. We, as a ghoul, had seen lots of grotesque views, but never this bad. Lots of incomplete bodies hanging by the wall with dried blood decorating them. The floor which used to be porcelain white –from what we could see through the few tidbits of white- is now covered in crimson. Various body parts which strangely looked fresh lying here and there. And by the middle of the room, two figures –one tied to a chair, while the other looming over the former- are engaged in an unknown activities.  
  
But it appears, that their arrival had picked the attention of the latter, because he then turned his head ever so slowly to their direction, face bloodied and eyes shone like a maniac.  
  
“Ha ? What do you guys want ?” His lips was then pulled into a dangerous grin. “Could it be, that you want to volunteer yourself to become my new toy ? Just perfect. This thing here seemed to have broken already. It stopped screaming for sometimes now.”  
  
And as Akanishi took a step forward, can they properly see the state of the man tied to a chair. With his top gone, they could see many scars forming on his body. His two feet has a strange hue of discoloration, nails turning black. They couldn’t see the hands on his back, but they assumed they would be in a similar condition. His face was no better, with bloodstains everywhere, yet eyes as empty as hollow.  
  
“Yuto !” I called out, but no reaction came from the tied man.  
  
“Alright, boys. Let’s play some games now !”  
  
With a maniacal roar, suddenly Akanishi is above me, ready for an attack. I was too surprised to react, but Yuya-san came just in time to counter his attack and kicked the man hard.  
  
After sending Akanishi a few metres away, he took a glance at me.  
  
“Wake up, Ryosuke. We can’t have you hurt here as well.” He whispered calmly. “Let’s take care of Akanishi first, and deal with Yuto later.”  
  
I took a deep breath, and nodded. I can’t afford to lose focus here.  
  
And as if on cue, Akanishi came back at us, lunging like a madman. I activate my kagune, feeling it spreaded to my right. Receiving a signal from Yuya-san, I jumped and released the thousands of blade at Akanishi. He was fast to dodge, though some of my blades still hit him anyway. But it took him less than a second to recover before he launched an attack at me.  
  
I saw him spreading a pair of thorned-tentacles from his back; a form of his kagune, and aimed them at me. I jumped side-to-side, avoiding contacts with the tentacles. From my side, I saw Yuya-san aiming an attack for Akanishi with his blade-like kagune forming on his right arm. Akanishi wasn’t aware of Yuya-san’s attack and screamed in pain as he was being stabbed from the back. Angered, Akanishi turned at Yuya-san and attack.  
  
The fight continued on for quite sometimes in this cycle. Us attacking and dodging, while Akanishi receiving attacks and attack back. And while it seems as if we have the upper hand, Akanishi doesn’t show any intention on giving up anytime soon. On the other hand, I can feel my energy being drained as time passes. And as I took a look at Yuya-san’s figure from the corner of my eyes, I could feel that he was getting to his limit as well.  
  
And that’s when an idea hit me. I was contemplating to take the bet, but decided that after coming this far, it’s a do-or-die situation and I’d take the risk.  
  
“Yuya-san, I’m going to experiment on something. Please buy me a minute.”  
  
Yuya-san frowned at me for a moment, before nodding his head and preparing himself to lung forward.  
  
“Don’t be reckless.” Was his last words before he strike at Akanishi.  
  
Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to concentrate and adjust my mind. I remembered Nakajima-san’s words, that in order to re-activate the device, I must control my feelings first. But in this situation, I need my original kagune too, so I have to arrange my mind in order to activate both.  
  
I tried remembering my past in sequence. My anguish upon being abandoned my very own mother. The assuring smile of Yuto when he told me that everything is going to be alright. The cold looks of my mother as she walked further away from me. The laughter of Yuto when we made origami together. The accusing look after my mother saw me in my father’s lab. The gentle touch when Yuto dried my hair. The view of blood and body parts all across the room. The smell of fresh grass and colourful flowers. The angry look of my brother as he attacked me. The comforting hug when Yuto tried to console me.  
  
“Ryosuke !”  
  
I opened my eyes and saw Yuya-san being pinned down by Akanishi. At the same time, I felt a familiar tail-like kagune came out from my back, and I smiled. Lifting my head, I dashed to where the two of them are and pushed Akanishi as hard as I could. Manouvering my tail, I leaped to the air and aimed it at his heart, while releasing my thousand of blades move at the same time. Not stopping there, I landed at his chest and stabbed his head with my half-wing, before pulling at his arms and legs with my tail. I saw him screaming in agony, before lying unmoving under me.  
  
Figuring that the battle had been won, I took a few steps backward, before collapsing to the ground. I was spent, as I felt my kagunes disappearing. I heard footsteps behind me before Yuya-san came and helped me up. I smiled at him, before averting my gaze to the still body tied to a chair in the middle of the room.  
  
The two of us made our way to where Yuto is and untied him. But even if his eyes are wide open, no reaction came.  
  
“Yuto ?” I tried to call him to no avail. “Yuto.” I tried again.  
  
“He’s no good. Let’s take him to the others and see what we can do.” Yuya-san told me but I paid him no heed.  
  
“Yuto !” I shook his body. “Come on, don’t do this to me.” I cried out desperately.  
  
“Ryosuke-“  
  
“YUTO !”  
  
And that’s when Yuto’s eyes flicked and they started to show some light once again.  
  
I felt myself smiling as Yuto blinked a couple of times, as if trying to grasp the situation around him.  
  
“Thank God, you’re alive.” I whispered softly.  
  
“Ryo-suke ?” He called hoarsely.  
  
“Yes. It’s me.” I nodded at him.  
  
“But how- ?” He frowned in confusion.  
  
“There’s no time to explain. We should hurry and go out from this place before thing went worse.” I told him as I helped him up, Yuya-san doing the same on the opposite side.  
  
But just as we were about to leave, the lump of Akanishi we thought has died suddenly move. We watched him in horror as he rose up, arm-less and leg-less, face bruised up that we barely recognized him.  
  
“I... won’t... let... you.. go...” With a coarse voice, Akanishi managed to spoke as a reddish kagune erupted from his shoulder and formed a hardened arms to both his sides. Below, we could see the same thing happened to his legs.  
  
“He has a kakuja.” Yuya-san spoke from the side.  
  
“What does that mean ?” I asked him.  
  
“It means that he has cannibalized on fellow ghoul.” Surprisingly, it was Yuto who answered my question. “He told me once, that in the past, on his run after being tortured by some crazy doves, he ate on ghoul to survive, and in return, he gained more power.”  
  
“He did ?!” I exclaimed in surprise. “How do we deal with him then ?”  
  
“We don’t.” Yuya-san said curtly. “When we see an opening, we’ll make a run for it. In our state, we can’t possibly win over him.”  
  
“But can we ?” I asked nervously.  
  
“Of course.” Yuya-san nodded. “His kakuja is incomplete, meaning he has no control whatsoever over it. He will just attack randomly without an aim, and that would be our advantage.”

I gulped. “Fine.”  
  
Yuya-san scrunched his eyes as he studied Akanishi further. “He’s still evolving. We better take the leave while we still can.” And he lead us towards the exit.  
  
But before we could leave, a massive reddish hand was dropped in front of us, crushing the ground to pieces. I widened my eyes before turning my gaze toward Akanishi who had already stand in front of us. It seems like his transformation has completed now that even his face is covered in reddish kagune.  
  
“This isn’t good.” I caught Yuya-san whispered under his breath. “Ryosuke, you take care of Yuto. I’ll try to hold him back for a while. You use that chance to run with Yuto.”  
  
“But what about you ?” I grasped at his coat and asked in worry.  
  
“Don’t worry. I’ll manage. Unlike you, I haven’t exhausted my stamina just yet. I will survive.” He tried to assure me.  
  
“But-“  
  
“Hurry up, Ryosuke !”  
  
For the first time in my life, Yuya-san yelled at me. I was too surprised to retort back and could only see him moving away from me and started to attack Akanishi in order to hold him down. But in my surprise, I failed to notice Yuya-san losing and that Akanishi is coming our way.  
  
“Ryosuke !”  
  
Only when Yuya-san’s voice came into me that I finally realized the situation. Akanishi is already in front of us, but he’s not looking at me at all. Instead, he stared grudgingly at Yuto.  
  
“Won’t... let... go...” And he strike.  
  
My eyes turned red for a second and before I realized it, my body is moving on it’s own. I felt my two kagunes erupting from my back. My half-wing as a shield and my tail as a weapon. It effectively stopping Akanishi from hitting Yuto head-on, but as I saw Akanishi’s sliced head slowly falling to the ground, I also felt an extreme pain on my chest. And that’s when I realized that instead of stabbing Yuto, Akanishi’s hand got me instead.  
  
Everything seemed to be in slow-motion afterward. I caught Yuya-san rushing at us, destroying Akanishi’s remains for good, before staring at me in horror. From behind me, I could hear Yuto’s voice calling me, but it was slowly getting further and further away. I felt my legs losing all strength as I fell. But two strong arms caught me before I touched the ground and held me close.  
  
“Kei-kun ! Come here quickly !”  
  
I heard voices from the distant screaming.  
  
“Ryosuke ? Can you hear me ? Ryosuke ?”  
  
“God damnit, Ryosuke ! Don’t you dare die on us now !”  
  
“Come on, Ryosuke ! Keep your eyes open !”  
  
“He’s losing consciousness ! Kei !”  
  
“I’m doing all I can, Hikaru-kun !”  
  
That was when I felt a hand on mine, gripping tight as if I’ll disappear if he let go.  
  
“Why did you do that, Ryosuke ? Why did you save me ?”  
  
“Yu-to...”

 

And I knew nothing.  
  
***  
  
I woke up to the sound of chirping birds from afar. I tried to move my limbs, but then found out that even the slightest move hurts me.  
  
“You shouldn’t force yourself too much.”  
  
A voice came, followed by a hand pushing me gently back to lie on the bed.  
  
“What happened ?” I asked, voice coarse from the lack of use.  
  
“You beat Akanishi. He’s dead now.” A short pause. “But Aogiri found out about your real identity. They’re hunting you now.”  
  
I gulped. Slowly realizing the mess I’m in.  
  
“The bright side is, no one aside from Aogiri knew about you. And since they wanted you all for themselves, they seemed to had agreed to recruit you ‘indiscreetly’, so that no others will notice you.”  
  
“I see.” A sigh came out from my mouth as I felt sligtly relieved. “But what will they do to Anteiku though ? Now that they have found out.”  
  
“I don’t know. I can only hope that they will do nothing to Anteiku. And seeing that by harming Anteiku will only make you further away from them, I dare to say they will keep a low profile there as well.”  
  
“I see.”  
  
I could see the other man smiling from the corner of my eyes before he stood up.  
  
“I will go and call Yuto-kun for you. I’m sure the two of you have a lot to catch up.”  
  
I turned my head and saw his back. Just as he was about to close the door, I called out softly.  
  
“Thank you, Yabu-san.”  
  
He smiled at me, and I watched as his eyes disappearing.  
  
“Anytime, son.”  
  
***  
  
I was just finally succeeding in propping myself up in a comfortable sitting position when a knock came to my door.  
  
“Yes ?” I called out.  
  
“Ryo-chan ? It’s me, Yuto. Can I come in ?” A familiar voice came from behind the piece of wood.  
  
Suddenly, I felt nervous about meeting him. After remembering our past, I have no idea as to what face I should show him. But then again, I also know that I can’t runaway from him forever.  
  
“Yes, you can.” I tried to keep my voice from shaking as I let him in.  
  
Soon, a bandaged-head came into view, and pale-looking Yuto is peeking through the opening. Slowly, after closing the door behind him, he walked closer to where I lied and sat down on a chair Yabu-san previously sat in.  
  
“How are you feeling ?” He asked.  
  
I shrugged at him. “Not entirely bad. How about yourself ? You looked worse than I do honestly.”  
  
He scanned his own body, and smiled sheepishly after figuring out that he’s indeed have more visible wounds than I do.  
  
“I’ll survive. Don’t worry about me.”  
  
For a moment, neither of us said a thing, and no one dare to break the silence.  
  
“I remembered.” I started after a while. And seeing him staring back at me in confusion, I continued. “My lost memories, I finally remembered them. And yes, I remembered about you as well.”  
  
He said nothing at my words, seemingly still taken aback by it.  
  
“No wonder I always had this feeling that I’ve seen you somewhere before ever since you came here.” I chuckled. “To think that we used to live together, I can’t believe myself.”  
  
“What do you mean ?” He asked at last.  
  
I formed a playful smile on my lips.  
  
“Well, you’re so loud and annoying. I just can’t believe myself for putting up with you back then.”  
  
“Hey, what is that supposed to mean ?” He pouted at me, and punched my shoulder lightly.  
  
I laughed at his reaction. And a second later, he followed my lead and laughed as well.  
  
“That’s the first time I see you laugh ever since I came here.” He told me after we both calmed down.  
  
“I know.” I nodded. “To be honest, that would be the first time I laughed ever since I came here.”  
  
“You held back too much.” He shook his head.  
  
“I know.”  
  
Again, the two of us fell into silence. But this time, it felt comforting. It’s as if, a burden had been lifted off of my shoulders and I felt lighter.  
  
“Can I ask you something ?” I broke the silence.  
  
“Hm ?” He looked at me questioningly.  
  
“Why, why are you here ? Did something happened with your parents or something ? Because, you know, you looked so sad when you first came here.” I asked carefully, afraid if I hit a sensitive topic. But to my delight, he smiled.  
  
“Nothing happened to them, believe me. It’s just, for the past few years, I wasn’t being myself. I guess losing you had been quite a big deal for me. It was like losing a brother all over again, and the second time felt even more painful. And perhaps my parents recognized this, because one day, they told me they will take me faraway to live with their acquintance. They said that it was done so I wouldn’t feel so lonely for being left alone at home too much, but to me, it felt like as if they were abandoning me because they were tired of me or something. But after meeting you here, I finally realized what they have been planning. They were trying to told me to start anew with you, and I couldn’t be more thankful.”  
  
A gentle smile was formed on his lips. The same smile he always used to assure me that everything is going to be alright back then.  
  
“Yeah. Me too.”  
  
***  
  
It appears, that Yabu-san took my brother in as well that night, because when I feel well enough to return back to the shop the next day, I found him wiping a table with Keito watching him rather intensely nearby.  
  
“Ryosuke-kun. Feeling up to help out already ? You know you still can have a day off or two.” Yabu-san was the first to speak from behind the counter. And it was enough to take everyone’s attention to me.  
  
“I’m okay, Yabu-san. I’d rather do something than lying on my bed for another day.” I assured him before joining him behind the counter. “I will take care of the cashier today, if you don’t mind.”  
  
Yabu-san just smiled and patted my shoulder before he left the counter. From where my brother is standing, I could feel eyes looking straight at me, but I decided to ignore it and focusing myself on the cash register instead, serving our customers the best I could.  
  
The day passed by far too quickly to my liking today. I know that my brother would want a talk with me, or else he wouldn’t stay and allowed himself to be slaved by the others. But for some reason, I wish he won’t. I really am not in the mood for some heavy talk. At least not yet.  
  
“Ryosuke.”  
  
Before I could even walk out completely from my post, my brother had called me already. I feel more than see the rest of the crews watching us anxiously.  
  
I took a deep breath. This should be easier than it seems. I will just listen to whatever he has to say and be done with. It won’t take that long, I bet.  
  
“What is it ?” I asked him without even trying to look properly his way. I find it easier this way.  
  
“Can we, can we talk ?” He asked me back, and from the way he talked, I could sense that he’s being hesitant himself with this.  
  
“Aren’t we talking now ?” I tried to be smart, still refusing to face him.  
  
“Ryo-“ He started. “Please. You know this is not what I’m talking about.”  
  
I said nothing for a while.  
  
“I will wait upstairs.”  
  
And then I left. I really can’t stand the stares any longer as I rushed toward my room above the shop. I tried to inhale and exhale deeply to calm my self down while waiting for my brother to follow me. So how surprised I was to find that the first person who knocked on my door is not my brother.  
  
“Yuto ?!” I widened my eyes in disbelief.  
  
He only smiled before letting himself in and closed the door behind us. He pulled me to sit on my bed, and in my surprise, I could only let him did so.  
  
“I will be by your side.”  
  
He said nothing else after that. But I had understood. So I also said nothing and let him sat by my side. Just as I thought that my brother won’t be coming after all, another knock came on my door. I was about to stand up to get the door, but Yuto was faster because he’s already opening it for me.  
  
I watch my brother’s expression changed the moment his eyes and Yuto’s met. He was also surprise by Yuto’s presence, but said nothing about it. After recovering from his shock, he finally turned his face toward me and send a weak smile before walking closer my way.  
  
Again, Yuto surprised us both when he was already back by the bed, a chair was pushed in front of me, sending my brother a silent order to sit there, before taking his previous position and sat back beside me.  
  
“So, what do you want to talk about ?” I quickly asked him.  
  
My brother smiled again. “I will tell you everything I know about you and the reason why you are different.”  
  
I shot him a sharp look, in which he just chuckled as a response.  
  
“I’m not telling you to judge anything after you heard the story. I just, want you to know the truth, that’s all. You are free to choose whatever you want after the story, I won’t say a thing.”  
  
I took a side glance for a moment and saw Yuto nodding his head in assurance.  
  
“Speak.” I told my brother.  
  
He nodded.  
  
“I knew nothing when you first manifested your kagune. Nothing at all. But seeing mother’s reaction, I knew she must have known something. But it was not until after that day that I found out about everything. If I had known sooner, God, I wish I had known sooner ! Because I will do everything just to take you away from that hell we called ‘home’.”  
  
He looked up and I saw an indescribable look flashing through his glassy eyes.  
  
“It all begins before you were born. Before the two of us were born..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary :  
> *Ghoul = A creature with appearance of those of human, who feasts on a human -or even fellow ghoul- to survive. They cannot eat human's food aside from water and coffee for it tasted horrible for their tongue. It is said that eating human's food for a ghoul equals eating animal's poop for a human.  
> A ghoul also has a very high regenerative system and has a high tolerance of pain. That's why normal attack cannot kill a ghoul. Though, when a ghoul received a very critical injury, it is possible for them to die before they have the chance to heal themselves.  
> A notable characteristic of a ghoul is their kagune, and blood-shot eyes. But their kagune can be hidden, and their eye-colour can be altered at will.  
> *Kagune = Somekind of body extension which becomes a weapon of it's owner. Each kagunes has it's own characteristic which differentiate the type of ghoul of it's bearer.  
> *Dove = Ghoul-hunters. They're human who hunt ghoul down.  
> *Quinque = A special weapon which was made from a ghoul's kagune. It can be shape-shifted, but it will mostly hold the characteristic of it's original kagune form.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have always wondered, why does this world have never been fair to the likes of us ? Was it so wrong to be born like this ? Do we have to be blamed for the fate we can't choose ? If so, then why did God created us ? Is there a purpose yet to be known for our existence ? Is there a meaning at all for us to continue living in this world where we could only suffer ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Age guide :  
> Yabu Kota : 35 years old  
> Takaki Yuya : 30 years old  
> Inoo Kei : 29 years old  
> Yaotome Hikaru : 34 years old  
> Arioka Daiki : 18 years old  
> Okamoto Keito : 20 years old  
> Yamada Ryosuke : 17 years old  
> Nakajima Yuto : 18 years old  
> Chinen Yuri : 17 years old
> 
> Yamashita Tomohisa : 23 years old  
> Akanishi Jin : 33 years old  
> Nakajima parents : 51 years old

 

“I’m telling you that my newest research will be a great break for us !”

“But this is absurd, Yamada ! Whatever you are doing will change a lot, including our entity as a ghoul !”

The man called Yamada quickly shot his red eyes toward the other, all the while shoving the papers to his chest.

“You don’t understand, Yamashita ! This will change us, yes, but for the better ! My research will strengthened our power immensely, giving us more weapons, allowing us a chance to rule the world !”

“That’s not the point of us being researchers !” Yamashita roared back. “We should find a way for us to live on even ground with humans, find a way for the two species to live together in harmony ! We’re not trying to invent something to rule over them !”

“That’s why you’ve never make a progress !” Yamada shouted. “You’re too naive ! Those were just some ideals our superiors gave us to restrict us ! And do you want to know what will happen after we’ve satisfied their stupid wishes ? They will throw us away like somekind of overused trashes ! They will see us as a mere hindrance and rid of us ! We will not be recognized for our own achievement !”

Yamashita shook his head frantically. “But still, I cannot agree to this idea of yours. It’s far too insane. I can’t allow such thing to be done to our children.”

Yamada shot him one last sharp look before turning away.

“Suit yourself. But you better not regret ever refusing my offer.”

***

“Yamashita-sensei, there’s a letter for you.”

Yamashita looked up from the microscope he was working with to see one of his co-researcher stood by his side, an envelope on his hands.

“Thanks, Nakajima. You may return to your post.”

The younger man smiled before nodding his head.

“Understood, Sensei.”

After making sure no one is looking, Yamashita carefully opened the envelope and quickly read the letters. And gradually, his eyes filled with rage.

“That bastard !” He cursed under his breath as he took off his lab coat and slammed it to his seat. “I’m going out for a while everyone. Please contact me if anything happens.” Was the last thing he said before he rushed out of the door.

As soon as he reached his parked car, he fished out his phone to call a certain number.

“What do you think you are doing ?!” He shouted to the receiver.

“What do you mean ?” Asked the receiver calmly.

“Don’t you dare playing dumb with me, Yamada !” He threatened with a low voice.

A crisp laugh could be heard from the other line, and he felt his anger rising.

“I don’t remember having an obligation to tell you what I’m doing, though. Last time I checked, we’re no longer research-partners. Oh, it’s done ! Sorry, Yamashita, but I have to hung up. Goodbye.”

And just like that, the line was disconnected. Yamashita tried to call him back, but he seemed to have non-activated his phone. He cursed as he punched the steering-wheel as hard as he could. He tried every possible way to stop the madman from pursuing his wrecked-idea, and only one thing came up.

Taking a few breath, he re-opened his phone, and started typing, hoping that it will work somehow. Watching as his message being sent, his eyes drifted to the photograph on the dashboard, and he smiled. His hand slowly reached into the picture and caressed the boy who is laughing at him tenderly.

“I’m sorry, Tomo. Papa might not be able to teach you soccer again.”

A ringtone of his phone brought him back from his reverie. He quickly read the reply of his message and send back an ‘OK’ before shutting his phone down and drive away.

“This is for the best.”

***

 _From : Yamashita-Sensei_  
To : Nakajima Kazuhiro  
Subject : Check my files

 _Nakajima, this is sudden, but I have a request for you. Please log into my PC and copy all the files. After that, delete everything on my PC. I can’t tell you much here, but I can tell you that it might concerns you as well. At least the reason why you joined our team in the first place._  
Also, if anything were to happen to me, I believe I can trust you in taking care of things which are needed to be taken care of. But please, be discreet about everything and act as if you know nothing beside the research we are currently doing.  
And one last thing, please keep this a secret from my family. I really don’t want to endanger them with the knowledge of this. You also may cut off of your relationship with people involved in this propaganda and start anew. But before that, this is just my selfish wish, I do hope you will take those boys away. Away from that man and from that inhuman idea.  
I know I’m asking you a lot, but as it’d come to this, you are the only person I can trust with this task. I won’t force you to agree, for I know it’s a huge responsibility to carry, but please do know that you have my greatest gratitude if you choose to agree to my selfish request. But if you find yourself unable to do it, then I will not mind. It’s just, I hope you will keep this a secret from everyone, and that’s all.

_I’m sorry for asking you this much, and thank you.  
Yamashita Masahisa._

The moment he read the message, Nakajima knew what he would be doing. He owed the man a lot. Yamashita-sensei had known his reasons of joining his team ever since the first time they met, and he had encouraged him for it. He was the first to did so. Everyone else always tried to make him change his mind instead. They told him that he’s a failure as a ghoul, that he was doing a taboo, because he had fallen in love, with a human.

But Yamashita-sensei, had encouraged him instead. He had respected his wish to try and find a way for a ghoul to be able to live in harmony with a human, so that he could be with his beloved without anyone shooting them an angry glare everytime the passed by anyone. So that he could lead a normal family with his love and their future children. And Yamashita-sensei understood. He was the first and the only person to ever see his vision properly, without yelling at him or throwing him a disgusted look. He was also the only one who congrulated him when he married his lover.

And for such person, he’s willing to do anything, as long as he believed them to be right. And that was why, he send his affirmative reply as soon as he could, and adding a few words of hope that everything won’t take for the worst. That Yamashita-sensei will return by the night with his usual playful remarks and told him that he was just being paranoid after all.

But as he read through the said files, he gradually feel the dread rising within him. Things might turn nasty after all.

***

“Stop it, Yamada !”

The called guy looked up from whatever he was doing just in time to dodge a kagune aimed at him.

“What now, Yamashita ?” He asked, eyes squinting until they were barely visible.

“I will never allow you to proceed with this craziness !” And another attack came his way.

“Tsk.” Yamada muttered under his breath. “Such a bothersome.”

***

“I really am sorry for your husband’s death, Yamashita-san.”

The tired-looking woman looked up and smiled at seeing on of his husband’s former colleague.

“Thank you, Yamada-sensei. And though it’s unfortunate, I have to be strong for our son.” She averted her gaze to the picture of her deceased husband on the altar. “For sure, my husband would have wanted that.”

“He was such a great researcher. We had a lot of fun during our time of partnership. I really was disappointed when our contract ended. I still have a lot of things to learn from him, but now-“

“Oh, Masahisa-san...” The woman, unable to hold her tears anymore, finally broke down.

“It’s okay, Yamashita-san. Everything is going to be okay.” With a well-hidden smirk, Yamada caress the woman’s back as she cried her feelings out.

***

It was a year after Yamashita-sensei passed away, and Nakajima is trying to cope up with his newly built life with the love of his life. After the news of Yamashita-sensei’s death came, he knew that it was time to move. He left his resignation letter on the lab, and tried to erase as many proofs as possible of Yamashita-sensei’s secret research to prevent anyone from misusing them. He then left to retrieve the young men discreetly. He had researched everything about that place, and pretty confident on his timing to ‘kidnap’ them away. The four boys, all dirtied and lost, were at first frightened at his figure. But after he had told them that he’s a friend of Yamashita-sensei, they believed in him and followed him out.

After taking the boys with him, he stopped by one last place to meet a certain someone. There he greeted Yuumiko, the love of his live, and asked her to come with him. He was beyond happy when she nodded her head and they both left on their journey to a brand new world. For the first time in his life, he was happy that both him and Yuumiko had lost their parents young, and though Yuumiko had an older brother, they lived apart and not in good terms, so basically they don’t have to say goodbye to anyone.

Along the road, he tried to explain as best as he could to her, while keeping some informations to himself. He told her that he can’t tell her everything then though, and she had understood. She held his hand and assured him that they will overcome this together.

It’s almost a 24-hour-trip, and by the time they had arrived, the boys on the back had fallen asleep. Yuumiko slept somewhere on the way too, but had woken up two hours before their destination. He told her to try and wake the boys up, while he came down from the car and talked to the owner of the place they’re visiting.

“Kazu, it’d been long.”

He smiled at the old man and went to gave him a hug.

“Uncle, you don’t know how much I owe you for accepting my sudden request.” He told the man.

“What are you talking about ? We might no be connected by blood, but we’re still family nevertheless. And family helps each other. Beside, you father had helped me a lot in the past, it’s only make sense for me to return the favour by helping you out now.” The man gave him a warm smile. “Oh, is that your company ? Come, bring them in. They must have been exhausted after the long ride. Let them rest properly inside. I have prepared some rooms.”

“Uncle, thank you so much. I don’t know what to do if you’re not here.”

“Please, don’t mind it, son. You know I’m more than happy to be able to do something for you.” The old man squeeze his shoulder assuringly, before turning his head toward the rest of the group and ushered them inside.

“What’s their name ?” He asked once their inside, warm and clean.

“This is Yabu Kota-kun, the eldest of them all. On his right is Yaotome Hikaru-kun, and next to him is Inoo Kei-kun, the youngest. The quiet one here is Takaki Yuya-kun.”

The four boys smiled sheepishly upon being introduced and nodded their heads.

“Such young fellows. I like them. Their eyes shine. They will be some great people in the future, I’m sure.” He commented with a crisp smile. “And who’s this beautiful lady might be ?” He then turned to the only woman in the room.

“Ah, this lady here, Uncle, is my spouse, Yuumiko.” He announced.

The old man widened his eyes in surprise. “Spouse ? When did you get married, Kazu ? And why didn’t you tell me ?”

“I’m sorry, Uncle.” He scratched his head. “But a lot happened, and our marriage is not exactly something many people will agreed on, that’s why...” He trailed off, waiting for the old man to response but all he saw is an unreadable expression shone from the man’s eyes and not a word spoken for a few minutes. Fearing for the worst, Nakajima had started to think for another place to stay.

“I see.” The man spoke at last. “I’m sorry, I’m just, surprised, I think.” He told the company. “I mean, I wonder since when my little Kazu grew up and be a man and found his own love ? It felt only yesterday when you cried for being dumped by the girl you like. To think that you finally built your own family, was just a little surprising.”

Nakajima widened his eyes in surprise. He had never expected such reaction from the old man.

“Uncle, allow me to tell you one more time. Yuumiko here, she’s a-“

“Human, I know.” The old man cut him off before he could finish his sentence. “But then what ? Love is a mysterious thing, Kazu. But it is also very beautiful. Not everyone can experience a true love, so that’s why, when you think you found one, cherish them with all you’ve got. It doesn’t matter who your partner is. Just by being a different species cannot stop you from pursuing your true love. At least, that’s what I thought. Eh, Kazu ? Why are you crying ?”

And true, before he realized it, tears had streaming down his cheek. And he didn’t know why.

“I’m sorry. But, you’re the only person beside Yamashita-sensei to have agreed on my relationship with Yuumi. And I’m just, happy, I think.” He reasoned.

“Really ?” His Uncle commented. “Well I was always called the weirdo anyway. But I surely wanted to meet this Yamashita-sensei guy who apparently have the same vision as me.”

“You can’t.” Nakajima shook his head.

“Why can’t I ?” Asked the old man.

“Yamashita-sensei, he, he had passed away.” He finally dropped the bomb. He hadn’t told the news yet to the boys, but he might as well tell them anyway. “He passed away fighting for his belief. For our beliefs.”

And suddenly, the quietest boy among the four broke into a mess of cries and wails. And his cry, seemed to have triggered the cries of the the other three as well.

“Masa-kun ! *sob* Don’t die !”

“You promised, you promised us you will stay with us forever !”

“Masahisa-san ! Why ?!”

No one tried to stop them from crying the hearts out, for they know it might be best for them that way, rather than keep the feelings inside.

“They’re just kids.” A hand is placed on his shoulder, and Nakajima looked up to find Yuumiko standing on his side. “Poor them.”

“But this Yamashita guy, he must have been a great person.” His uncle commented lowly. “For them to cry this much, they must have love him greatly. If not, they wouldn’t feel so lost.”

“Yes.” Nakajima agreed, remembering the times with his teacher-like figure. “He was a great person. A very great person.”

***

It was a week after their arrival at his Uncle’s place, and Nakajima had talked things out with his Uncle and spouse as much as he could. Having the same vision as himself, his Uncle had supported him with the idea, and even offered to help. He told Nakajima that he will take care of the kids while he travel to gain more support and continuing Yamashita-sensei’s unfinished research. He was worried when he’s about to leave, of whether the boys will be alright or not, but as he made his way downstairs, he caught the boy diligently working on the coffee machine with his Uncle on the watch.

“I will take care of them. You worry for your own well-being. And your wive’s too. She’s on her third trimester, right? Make sure you don’t stress her out too much.” His Uncle told him as he climbed into his car.

“I won’t. Please don’t worry over us.” He sends the man a smile. “Uncle, you don’t know how much it meant to me. You’ve done so many, and I don’t know how to repay you for all your kindness.”

“Stay alive.” The old man spoke softly, yet a firm tone thick in his voice. “Stay alive and prove the world what you’re worth.”

“I will.” Yet another smile, gentler this time, was thrown toward the older man’s direction. “Thank you, Uncle Koichi.”

***

It’d been almost five years since Nakajima last visited his Uncle. They stayed in contacts still, and there’s where he found out that the the oldest of the four boys, Kota, had decided to successor of his Uncle’s coffee shop.

“He was reluctant at first, but I managed to make him take the offer, saying that I won’t live forever and needed someone to take over my shop after I go.” Was what his Uncle said in one phone call.

He also told his Uncle how his first son was born a full-ghoul for some reason. It was something he has yet to figure out, but he was glad more than anything, because that would mean that Yuto –the name he and Yuumiko had given to their son- will never face the obstacles of being a hybrid.

Their second son, however, was not as fortunate as Yuto was. Two years after Yuto was born, they were blessed with another child –another son- a healthy young boy they named Raiya. Unlike Yuto, Raiya didn’t posed red-eyes when he first cried, almost as if he’s a full-pledged human child. At least, that’s what they thought.

But around a year after Raiya was born, just a couple of days before Raiya’s first birthday, when the couple left their two sons alone in the playground, Yuto’s sudden shriek panicked them as they rushed to where the two boys are. Nakajima was beyond surprise when he found out their youngest son straddling his older brother with his newly-manifested kagune, his right eye shining a bloodshot red. And Yuto, even though he was already thought how to control his kagune to protect himself, was helpless against his two years younger brother. But what surprised them the most was not that. It was the fact that Raiya grinned –not the typical baby’s excited shriek, but a devilish grin- as he toppled over his older brother.

Nakajima was quick to tell his wive to wait outside before he released his own kagune and forced the tentacles-like kagune around Yuto’s body off. And using the time where Raiya was too surprised to react, he strike his son before catching him on his arms as he fell unconscious. As he felt his kagune dispersing, he turned to help his firstborn up from his position.

“Are you okay, son ?”

A visible red-lines around his neck and wrists and ankles were more than evidences to show the world that Yuto is clearly not okay. Especially when he trembles almost visibly with the colour of his face almost gone. But Yuto nodded anyway. He nodded his head for fear he will get his brother into trouble if he stated otherwise.

“It’s fine, Yuto. Everything’s going to be fine.” With his free arm, he pulled Yuto tight into him, giving him an encouraging hug.

***

Almost half a year later, and Nakajima finally found the correct formula as a result of his research. He was sure that it’s still incomplete, but felt safe enough to try it on his second son. The result, was rather satisfying if he has to say. Raiya was able to manifest a different kagune sometimes later, with both of his eyes turning red. He hoped the boy could grow up as a human rather as a ghoul, but decided that for the time being, it’s the best they could get. He could still work on the perfect formula later on.

But it appears as his laid-back decision was a prove of his immaturity, for he did not think of the consequence just in case something went wrong. He knew of the side-effects of course, and ever since had tried to keep Raiya as calm as he could, keeping his emotions at bay as to not to create an extreme change. Until one day, a nightmare change it all.

Nakajima decided to visit his Uncle after a long while with his whole family. After this long, he thought that it was time for Raiya to face the world. Raiya will need to go out eventually, and to make sure that things are under control even when the worst happened, his Uncle’s place might be the safest first destination.

His Uncle had welcomed him as warmly as he remembered. But what confused him was the absence of the four boys. So as his Uncle lead them to their temporary room, he asked the whereabout of the teens.

“They’re at school, of course.” Answered his Uncle lightly.

“School ?” He asked again.

“Yes, of course.” His Uncle said again. “I offered them to finish their study. Especially because we’re ghouls, we need to know how to blend with humans. And in order to do that, we have to enter the society. And beside, schools helped distracting them from unnecessary things. A lot will be gained there. Among the four, I personally think that Kei-kun might be the brightest. I have been thinking to have him take an entrance test for Todai or Meiji. But both Kota-kun and Hikaru-kun are in Waseda, and Yuya-kun said that he received an offer from a college in Osaka through swimming scholarship. I don’t know if he will want that test or not.”

“You haven’t told me.” He half-accused his Uncle.

“My bad.” The old man gave a low chuckle. “But it always slipped my mind. And I don’t really think it’s that important anyway.”

“It is important Uncle !” Nakajima insisted. “It must have cost you a lot for the school’s tuition and such.”

“Nonsense.” His Uncle laughed it off. “They gained their own money you know. For helping out in the shop and doing some other part-time jobs outside. Of course I told them that they don’t have to work part-time, but they insisted, so I let them be. And beside, they’re all smart kids. Kei-kun got a full scholarship ever since he first stepped into class. Yuya-kun proved his worth during swimming contest and earned himself scholarship through that. Kota-kun also worked diligently and be pro-active in every school events, making him the student council through high school which is the reason why Waseda recruited him to their university and offered him a full scholarship. Hikaru-kun showed his talent through art, which got himself a first prize that could last until the end of college. They’re not a bother at all, I assure you.”

“But still-“ Nakajima started.

“Let’s forget about it. There is another story which is more important than that.” His Uncle ushered him to his study for them to have a private talk. “I don’t know if you’ve heard about this or not yet, but it seems that the widow of Yamashita-sensei, Fuyumi-san, had remarried and already had a child from his second marriage.”

“She did ? I never know.” Nakajima expressed his surprise.

“Yes. But that’s not the main point.” His Uncle looked hesitant for a moment. “Apparently, her current spouse is none other than that Yamada Tatsuhiro-kun.”

Nakajima could only gasped in surprise.

***

As surprising as it might seem, the problem concerning Yamada Tatsuhiro marrying the late Yamashita-sensei’s widow didn’t stay for long. For just the day after the big announcement, another problem arises. A bigger problem.

They were visiting the amusement park near his Uncle’s place, and little Yuto was asking to visit the haunted house with his parents. And because of his condition, Raiya was not allowed to ride along, and so Uncle Koichi volunteered to take care of him while the three of them took he challenge, assured that nothing could go wrong anyway.

What they didn’t predict was a little fireworks triggered the unstability of Raiya’s emotions and thus, returning him to his original form. The toddler made a rampage with his unleashed form, attacking here and there, knowing no mercy. Uncle Koichi, by no means weak despite his age, was betting on his all when he transform and tried his best to keep Raiya at bay. But even with his advantages of power and experience, he was no match against a hybrid, even as young as Raiya is.

It was just their luck to find out that a couple of doves were on patrol around the area by then. The professional doves quickly called for backups while they equipped themselves with their quinques and made a move to stop Raiya from further damage. Uncle Koichi, in his last burst of power, tried his best to bring Raiya afar –to put things to an end his way. But being wounded, and having to fight two sides at a time was proven to be a tougher task than he’d imagined. And so the last thing he remembered was Raiya being captured by one of the dove.

At the time the other three Nakajimas ended their trip inside the haunted house, it was already too late. Before them, an unimaginable view awaited. They couldn’t even start to count how many lives were gone from the battle. Bloodied bodies lying everywhere, some of them lost parts. And on the other side of their view, a group of doves surrounding something.

Nakajima started to feel uneasy. He told his wive and firstborn to wait on the exit gate while he find out what’s happening. His wive, despite being reluctant, nodded her head and half-dragged Yuto to the opposite side. After making sure that the two of them are out of sights, Nakajima quietly approaching the commotion.

He was readying himself for the worst, but he mostly didn’t expected to see his second son lying lifelessly in the midst of the doves. Through their hectic talks upon figuring out what kind of creature Raiya is, Nakajima took a staggering steps back and begin his search for his Uncle. Not too far from that place, he found his Uncle lying motionless on the ground, and when he got there he realized that the man is still alive. It seems that seeing a hybrid is that important they seemingly forgot the existence of the other ghoul. Using the commotion, Nakajima picked the old man on his back and quickly fled the scene.

He said nothing when he met his wive and son, only signaling them to quickly follow him out. He placed his Uncle on the backseat, before driving away as fast as he could. Lucky for him that Kei-kun has the ability to heal, so as soon as they got home, he asked the boy to take care of his Uncle.

While the boy doing his job, he turned back to face his wive. Taking a deep breath, he finally dropped the bomb.

“I’m sorry, Yuumi. Raiya was found out by the doves. He, he was killed.”

***

His Uncle barely survived from the incident. He was conscious long enough to tell the family how sorry he was for not being able to take care of Raiya properly. Nakajima had told him that it’s okay, only because that seems to be the only thing chaining his Uncle down. The old man had smiled a sympathetic smile, before his eyes closed once again. This time, for eternity.

That very night, Nakajima readied himself to lose everything, when he decided to infiltrate the doves’ quarter to take Raiya’s body back. He couldn’t save his own son, the least thing he could do is to offer him a proper funeral. His wive had tried to stop him, but he told her that he needed to do this, and so she let him go.

It was through fighting a couple of doves and breaking a few system before he finally reached his destination. Taking out the body bag he had prepared earlier, Nakajima picked his son’s body carefully –placing a quick peck on his forehead on his way- and putting him inside the bag. He had expected more doves to be on his way, but it seems that they’re still busy figuring out the identity of the new-found ghoul.

He came back a little over midnight, only to find his wive still waiting where he left her. Running towards the woman, Nakajima pulled her into a tight embrace, and the two of them cried.

***

It was a simple funeral. They didn’t invite anyone. Just him, and his little family, with the four kids attending the funerals. Kota-kun had assured him that he will take care of Anteiku, so that Nakajima could focus on his research. He had said with burning eyes that this would be the last time of this kind of event from occuring. The discrimination over ghouls when all they wanted is simply a peace, should be ended. And the very person entrusted with the job was Nakajima.

He went back home soon after the funeral, before the doves making their further moves. Even then, as soon as they’re home, he realized that he couldn’t continue on with his research here. In this place full of Raiya’s memories. But at the same time, he can’t just abandon the place. And so, he and his wive made a decision. They will go for a trip in order to fulfil the research and leave the house in Yuto’s care. His wive was reluctant, for she thought Yuto was too young to be left alone. But it was Yuto himself who told them to just go.

And so off they go.

***

It’d been a few years since they start their journey, and Nakajima dare to say that they have made quite a progress. They visit home every once in a while, to check on Yuto and hear his every stories while they’re away. And so when one day, they got back to find their son in the company of another boy, they were beyond surprised.

Yuto had told them about the boy though, and of how he wished the boy could live together with him. He was reluctant, especially after knowing that the boy is the son of that Yamada Tatsuhiro, but Yuto was persisstent and he didn’t really have the heart to reject him, so he let him stay. The boy though, despite being shy and quiet, is as sweet as Yuto described him be. He’s easy to like, so no one would have thought of him having a dark past.

When on their journey, Nakajima found out about the death of Yamada Tatsuhiro, though the reason was yet to be known. And while he was originally surprised to hear about what had happened with the Yamada family afterwards –especially because Fuyumi-san was known to be a gentle woman who would never play cold toward her own son- he had predicted that there is something more on the story.

He bid Yuto and the boy goodbye the next morning. To resume their journey, as well as finding out the truth behind Yamada Tatsuhiro.

***

He found out soon enough from Yamada Tatsuhiro’s former co-researcher. The man told him he followed Yamada-sensei because he thought that the man was right about his idea. Only to find out later how wrong he was when he made the decision. It was too late to quit, though, for he knew very well what Yamada was capable off. So reluctantly, he continue on with the research.

It seems that Yamada Tatsuhiro was trying to make his own hybrid species. And had tested it on some. That much, he knew. But apparently he had went worse after that. He tried to make his own army of hybrids through blood. And so he invented a serum, injected it to his own vein, and created a bloodline.

“So that was the reason why he married Fuyumi-san ? To test on his idea of creating a hybrid army from his own children ? How cruel that would be ?!” He yelled in bewilderment.

“I know.” The man nodded his head. “I tried to stop him, too. Telling him the risks of it. But Yamada-sensei wouldn’t listen. In fact, he denied me from his main research from then on, only allowing me on small jobs. But I was still able to smuggled some informations, though I could do nothing to stop him.”

“About his death,” Nakajima started. “Do you know something about his death ?”

“It was only a rumour,” The man hesitated. “But I heard that Yamada-sensei was trying to turn himself into a hybrid. But something went wrong and he ended up unable to sustain the change, thus ending his own life. But it was only a rumour. I don’t know how much of it is true.”

“I see.” He nodded. “That’s enough, Masuda-kun. Thank you for telling me.”

***

He rushed home as soon as he received a frantic phonecall from Yuto, telling him that something went wrong with Ryosuke –the boy.

When they got home, Yuto told him that Ryosuke looked like Raiya when he was upset, that he is a hybrid. He cried to us, telling us how he didn’t want Ryosuke to end up like Raiya did, begging us to do something about it.

And as I draped my arms around Yuto’s shaking figure, I put two and two together.

Yamada Tatsuhiro had succeeded in creating a hybrid through his research. And Fuyumi-san, probably felt betrayed when it was revealed that Ryosuke is a hybrid, turned a cold back at him, unable to sustain her own feelings. And when Ryosuke claimed that he had killed his own mother, was probably an outcome of multiple misunderstandings and unstable emotions from the two party. Ryosuke probably unleashed his kagune and killed his mother by accident, being too young to control his own power with a frantic mind.

“Dad, please, can’t you do something about it ?” Yuto begged again, eyes red from too much crying.

“I’ll try.” Was what Nakajima could answer.

***

The result: Yamada Ryosuke’s true identity is concealed within him, with the consequence of him losing his memories.

He had thought that staying here any longer would be dangerous for both the boy and his son. Especially since he couldn’t be home all the time watching over them. And that was why, he made a quick phonecall to a certain person to ask for his help.

Through the years, Kota-kun and the gang had rescued abandoned ghouls to stay under their wings. An act which could only be done by them who had been rescued when they were younger. And so when he told them for their help to take Ryosuke under their care, they were more than willing to help. Nakajima contemplated to tell about Ryosuke’s background or not at first, before deciding that if they will take care of him, they might as well know about his past, so he told them the truth.

Kota-kun said nothing after he told the story, only giving him a long sigh after a long two minutes.

“I never know that person will go that far.” Kota-kun finally said. “Poor boy has to go through a lot because of his father. He’s surely deserves so much better.”

Nakajima released a breath of relief when he heard the young man said that. He had faith on Kota-kun, but he also had his doubts. Of whether the old pain might resurface with the mention of Yamada Tatsuhiro’s name.

“Yamada Tatsuhiro was evil, and I’m glad he’s finally gone forever. But that doesn’t make his bloodline evil as well. That Ryosuke boy, he has nothing to do with his father’s wrong-doing. His parents can be anything, but if he wished to, we are more than happy to accept him here.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary :  
> *Ghoul = A creature with appearance of those of human, who feasts on a human -or even fellow ghoul- to survive. They cannot eat human's food aside from water and coffee for it tasted horrible for their tongue. It is said that eating human's food for a ghoul equals eating animal's poop for a human.  
> A ghoul also has a very high regenerative system and has a high tolerance of pain. That's why normal attack cannot kill a ghoul. Though, when a ghoul received a very critical injury, it is possible for them to die before they have the chance to heal themselves.  
> A notable characteristic of a ghoul is their kagune, and blood-shot eyes. But their kagune can be hidden, and their eye-colour can be altered at will.  
> *Kagune = Somekind of body extension which becomes a weapon of it's owner. Each kagunes has it's own characteristic which differentiate the type of ghoul of it's bearer.  
> *Dove = Ghoul-hunters. They're human who hunt ghoul down.  
> *Quinque = A special weapon which was made from a ghoul's kagune. It can be shape-shifted, but it will mostly hold the characteristic of it's original kagune form.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have always wondered, why does this world have never been fair to the likes of us ? Was it so wrong to be born like this ? Do we have to be blamed for the fate we can't choose ? If so, then why did God created us ? Is there a purpose yet to be known for our existence ? Is there a meaning at all for us to continue living in this world where we could only suffer ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Age guide :  
> Yabu Kota : 35 years old  
> Takaki Yuya : 30 years old  
> Inoo Kei : 29 years old  
> Yaotome Hikaru : 34 years old  
> Arioka Daiki : 18 years old  
> Okamoto Keito : 20 years old  
> Yamada Ryosuke : 17 years old  
> Nakajima Yuto : 18 years old  
> Chinen Yuri : 17 years old
> 
> Yamashita Tomohisa : 23 years old  
> Akanishi Jin : 33 years old  
> Nakajima parents : 51 years old

“That was pretty much the story behind our past.” My brother ended his story with a long sigh. “I found out about it just a few years back. When I met Nakajima-sensei and he told me everything.”  
  
“I never knew...”  
  
I heard Yuto trailed off on my side, and when I turned my head, I saw him having this bewildered look on his face.  
  
“Of course you don’t.” My brother said. “Nakajima-sensei thought that you were too young to know. He told me you’ll have to know eventually, just not that soon. In the end, I’m the one to drop the bomb for you.”  
  
“So, why Aogiri ?” I finally asked the question which had been lingering inside my mind since he started his story.  
  
“Because Nakajima-sensei recommended me to.” Said my brother, his tone careful as if he was trying not to voice out the wrong word. “Don’t take it the wrong way, please. I know Aogiri had been a rather bad influence in our world, and that they had done quite some of dirty works here and there. But despite anything, Aogiri is the only organization which held every single secrets no one else had ever heard off. By being the most ancient, Aogiri is also the most trusted in keeping secrets, and in a way, traditions, so that they will live on through generations.”  
  
“By secrets, you don’t mean-“ I frowned as I voiced out my fear.  
  
“The whole truth behind Tatsuhiro-san’s motive in pursuing his vision appears to be one of them. Nakajima-san only told me the parts in which he himself was involved. And from Aogiri, I finally figured out the whole picture.” My brother said in a whisper, his eyes shooting concerned look at me. “And with Tatsuhiro-san as the key-person of this mission gone, no one could really follow his lead, so the project was left as it is. Which, I personally thought the best option there is. I really hope it will be buried deep in a place where no one is even possible to take a slight peek.”  
  
“What is it ? Father’s motive and the whole project and everything.” I urged my brother to tell me more. “Tell me !”  
  
But he only shook his head softly.  
  
“You don’t want to hear about it, Ryosuke.” He gently told me. “And I will not start about it either. What you just heard, was enough of a story that you should now.”  
  
I stared hard at my brother, thinking of the best words to make him talk.  
  
“But above everything, I just want you to know, that back then, even being young and oblivious, I shouldn’t have pushed you away.” My brother beat me in talking, again. “But I did, and nothing I do could undone what had been done. And while it’s true that my reason in joining Aogiri was to find the whole truth, the other reason was so I could search for you, to tell you how sorry I was for neglecting your feelings and judging you selfishly.”  
  
I looked down, suddenly finding the hem of my shirt very interesting.  
  
“And I just wanted you to know, that I don’t blame you for anything that had happened. And I’m sure, Mother felt the same too. Despite her cold attitude and all, I’m sure she actually cared a lot about you. Because if she didn’t, she wouldn’t looked into your photoalbum every night with tears streaming down her cheeks. Because if she didn’t, she wouldn’t sneaked into your room, watching you sleep while caressing your hair softly, murmuring broken lullaby every single night. Because if she didn’t, she would fight back, and saved her own life from you. She was just too broken, and confused, and betrayed, and admitting her love for you would just be a reminder of how she had let herself deceived by Tatsuhiro-san, and it stabbed her like a thousand knives, so she couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge your very presence. At least not openly.”  
  
I didn’t even realized since when have I been crying, but when I looked up, I found my brother right in front of me, his thumb softly wiping the tears off of my eyes.  
  
“Mother loves you, Ryosuke. Even when she tried to deny it herself. I am a living evidence of that truth. So please, stop blaming yourself for what happened because it was never your fault.”  
  
“But, but I-“  
  
“Shh. No buts.” Before I could react, my brother already pulled me into a warm hug. “I’m here telling you stories so that you’d know about the truth. And stop blaming yourself and freed yourself from the bound you chained yourself into. That’s why, you should just let it out, and keep the past in the past.”  
  
I tried to break free from my brother’s hold, but as seconds past, I found my will leaving me. And before long, I started wailing on his chest. I felt the weight on my side leaving, and I somehow felt Yuto quietly leaving, perhaps thinking of giving the two brothers their personal time, and I was grateful.  
  
Because this very moment, I need nothing but my brother’s presence.  
  
***  
  
In the end, I still couldn’t get an answer behind that ambush when they took Yuto hostage. But according to Kota-san, since Akanishi is a big guy with random acts, the attack was most probably Akanishi’s idea after all. It always slipped my mind when I’m talking with my brother, and as time passed, I thought that I didn’t have to ask anyway.  
  
It was quite a surprise though –a pleasant one- when one day, the Nakajima couple dropped by and paid us a visit. Their intention, of course, was to checked on their son. But I found this as a chance to thanked them properly. And so when they were putting off their luggage inside Yuto’s room, with Yuto packing his nightly needs inside a small backpack, I decided to say my greetings.  
  
“Oh, Ryosuke-kun ! Come in, come in !” Nakajima senior ushered me to step inside. “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience, because we had to stay for the night, you have to share room with our Yuto.”  
  
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” I gave them a low shrug before moving to help them unpack their things.  
  
“Oh, please, don’t bother yourself. We’re fine, really.” Yuto’s mother told me.  
  
“It’s okay. I want to help anyway.” I gave the woman a smile, in which she just nodded her head with a soft smile.  
  
“If you say so then.”  
  
For a while, the four of us worked in silence. It took only a couple of minutes to take care of their things, for there weren’t that many to begin with. Yuumiko-san thanked me while Nakajima-san gave a soft pat on my head.  
  
“You’re much more helpful than Yuto here, who only care about his own things.”  
  
“Hey, I did help, too !” The said boy whined.  
  
They fell into a crisp laughter, in which I could only see awkwardly. After a moment, I took a deep breath and bowed deeply.  
  
“Nakajima-san, I really really thank you for everything you have done ! You’ve helped me a great deal, and I don’t know how could I ever repay your kindness !” I blurted out things before I lost my courage.  
  
A silent followed soon after I said those words. That is before a pair of hands rested on my shoulder, and lifting me up. And as I looked up, I saw Nakajima-san’s brown eyes looking back at me warmly.  
  
“I suppose Tomohisa-kun had told you everything, no ?” He asked softly, in which I nodded my head. “You don’t have to thank me for anything, son. Don’t you think it was natural to help each other ? Especially those in real need of our help ?”  
  
Again, I nodded.  
  
“And so I was only doing the natural. I believe if the situation is reversed, you would do the same to us.”  
  
“But I might not. I might be a bad person.” I argued.  
  
“Of course you are not a bad person. Just one look and people would know how lovely you are. Look at Yuto. He is a victim to your loveliness at first sight. You don’t know how much he sulked when you moved here. It took us a lot of time before deciding that it’s probably best for you to stay close after all. That’s why we sent Yuto here.” A teasing smile is playing on the man’s lips as he took a small glance at his son who is blushing deep shade of red on the side.  
  
Looking at the scene, I couldn’t helped but form a small smile myself.  
  
“But really, thank you.”  
  
***  
  
The Nakajima couple left as soon as the came. But before they departed, they managed to told us a bit of information.  
  
“Things have been steady as of lately. I’m not sure what kind of outcome awaits after this, but I could assure you that for the time being, no harm will be brought to us. We have also made an agreement with the doves and the government, and they had agreed to stop hunting us as long as we don’t make a scene. They will still make a move to our kinds who still preyed on living human though, but he will leave us alone otherwise.” He said while fixing his coat.  
  
“So far so good.” Yabu-san commented lightly from the side.  
  
“Everything went according to plan.” Nakajima-san added. “And I really hope this is the path to reach that world we dreamt of. The world where we stand on equal ground with humans.”  
  
“We hope so too.” Kei-san said from his corner, a grinning Hikaru-san sipping on his coffee on his side.  
  
“Let’s just work our best to achieve it, everyone. I’m sure that our efforts won’t go to waste, that’s for sure.”  
  
And with that last sentence, the couple left.  
  
“I never knew that Yuto-kun’s parents are in close terms with Yabu-san and the gank.” Dai-chan said after the two left.  
  
“Yuya-san told me that they always visit them every once in a while, discussing about things.” Keito told the shorter boy as he moved toward the counter.  
  
“Wha- You never told me !” Dai-chan protested, all the while pointing accussing finger at the younger boy.  
  
“You never asked.” Keito simply shrugged before pulling out his rug and wipe the counter.  
  
Dai-chan is about to argue back when Yabu-san stepped in between their fight.  
  
“Let’s stop here, shall we ? It’s almost opening time and we still have a lot to do. Daiki-kun, shouldn’t you be arranging your mixer ? It’s Wednesday and everyone is always looking forward for DJ Daiki on Wednesday night. Can’t have our customers dissapointed, can we ?” Yabu-san pointed at the equipment by the corner, in which Dai-chan just pouted but stomped his feet toward the said mixer anyway.  
  
“I’m just glad everything turned out fine in the end.”  
  
I took a side glance and found Yuto stretching his arms on my side.  
  
“Say, wanna watch some movie tonight ? My treat.” He offered me with a goofy grin.  
  
“Sorry, not tonight. I have a promise with Yuuri.” I told him flatly and heard him groan in annoyance.  
  
“Yuuri again ? Why is it that everytime I asked you out you always have a promise with that squirrel ?! Don’t tell me you love him more than me ?” The tall boy complained with a depressed sigh.  
  
I burst out for a good laugh at his childish remarks.  
  
“It’s almost exam, Nakajima. Of course I’m having lots of promises with Yuuri and _other students_. We’re cramming for a group-study. It’s not a matter of who loves who more.” I shook my head with a small chuckle.  
  
“Then can I come to your group-study too ? I can help.” Yuto tried.  
  
“You can’t.” I shook my head firmly.  
  
“Why ?” There goes his whine.  
  
“Because you’ll do anything but help if you tag along. And I think it’s weird to suddenly bring another friend to our group-study.” I told him matter-of-factly. “You can just help Dai-chan out or something. You’re good with music, right ?”  
  
“But still...” I could almost heard a pout from his voice. Almost.  
  
“Oh, come on. You can show me what you’ve tried with Dai-chan when I got home, right ? I promise I will be back before show time.”  
  
I turned myself his way to find him staring back at me with sparkly, filled with determination look.  
  
“I’ll work hard then ! Just you see, Ryo-chan ! I will make blow you out of my mind with my performance !”  
  
‘Our performance, you mean.’ I corrected him inside my mind. But seeing as how excited he had been, I decided to let it go.  
  
“Well, I guess it’s about time for me to leave. I’ll just take my bag first before heading out.” I looked at my watch before leaving the room, feeling Yuto following closely behind.  
  
“You’re going alone ?” He asked from behind me.  
  
“My brother will take me there.” I told him.  
  
Ever since that fateful day, I felt that my bond with my brother had deepened. We often chat and my brother always dropped me off to school or if I have a group-study like this. And if I happened to have a long schedule, he would also picked me up. It was a surprise the first time it happened, to have my brother waiting with his bike in front of the school-gates. It’s a little shameful, for I’m no longer little kids who need to be taken care of, but I don’t hate it either.  
  
Yuto was whining about it, telling me how I spent more times with my brother than I did with him. But I know that he’s happy to find me slowly mending my wound and letting go of the past to start anew.  
  
Come to think of it, Yuto had always been the one who understood me best. Staying by my side almost all the time, and keeping his distance when I need time for myself. He didn’t bother me when I’m bonding with someone too, rather he took the time to make his own bond with the rest of us, making them closer than they had been. Now that I look back, I have a lot to thank Yuto for.  
  
“Thank you, Yuto.” I softly whispered to myself, half-hoping the said boy will heard me.  
  
“Hmm ? What is it, Ryo-chan ?”  
  
Even so, I’m somehow pleasantly glad he didn’t hear me anyway, so I stood up and flashing him a wide smile.  
  
“Nothing. I will be going then. See you later, Yutti~”  
  
The nickname had seemingly had the desired effect because the next moment Yuto broke into a wide grin and jumped at me with a bone-crushing hug.  
  
“See you later, Ryo-chan~ I love you~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glossary :  
> *Ghoul = A creature with appearance of those of human, who feasts on a human -or even fellow ghoul- to survive. They cannot eat human's food aside from water and coffee for it tasted horrible for their tongue. It is said that eating human's food for a ghoul equals eating animal's poop for a human.  
> A ghoul also has a very high regenerative system and has a high tolerance of pain. That's why normal attack cannot kill a ghoul. Though, when a ghoul received a very critical injury, it is possible for them to die before they have the chance to heal themselves.  
> A notable characteristic of a ghoul is their kagune, and blood-shot eyes. But their kagune can be hidden, and their eye-colour can be altered at will.  
> *Kagune = Somekind of body extension which becomes a weapon of it's owner. Each kagunes has it's own characteristic which differentiate the type of ghoul of it's bearer.  
> *Dove = Ghoul-hunters. They're human who hunt ghoul down.  
> *Quinque = A special weapon which was made from a ghoul's kagune. It can be shape-shifted, but it will mostly hold the characteristic of it's original kagune form.

**Author's Note:**

> Glossary :  
> *Ghoul = A creature with appearance of those of human, who feasts on a human -or even fellow ghoul- to survive. They cannot eat human's food aside from water and coffee for it tasted horrible for their tongue. It is said that eating human's food for a ghoul equals eating animal's poop for a human.  
> A ghoul also has a very high regenerative system and has a high tolerance of pain. That's why normal attack cannot kill a ghoul. Though, when a ghoul received a very critical injury, it is possible for them to die before they have the chance to heal themselves.  
> A notable characteristic of a ghoul is their kagune, and blood-shot eyes. But their kagune can be hidden, and their eye-colour can be altered at will.  
> *Kagune = Somekind of body extension which becomes a weapon of it's owner. Each kagunes has it's own characteristic which differentiate the type of ghoul of it's bearer.  
> *Dove = Ghoul-hunters. They're human who hunt ghoul down.  
> *Quinque = A special weapon which was made from a ghoul's kagune. It can be shape-shifted, but it will mostly hold the characteristic of it's original kagune form.


End file.
